Let's talk a little bit about me.
Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine about how I have nothing going on in my life. Crappy job. Failed out of school. No relationships to even joke about. In short, if you took off your shades, my future would still not be bright. Being a generally positive person, I tried to think of something that may be good about the future. I thought to myself, "Self, what are you good at? Let's maximize that potential." So, what am I good at? That's a good question. Let's break it down a bit:
1) I am good at nothing.
Now, this isn't to say I am bad at everything. I'm actually a bit better than passable at most things. However, being good enough at pretty much anything is not nearly as marketable as being very good at two things. Now, to be fair, I am damn good at listening to music. I'm also brilliant at having opinions. The problem is, I don't like contention. Therefore, I don't really argue for my opinions in most situations. (Excluding Phil Collins and Apple. I'm convinced those are two points on the trifecta of hell, mayonaise being the third point.) So, while it would seem that those two skills make me perfect for a music critic, I don't like the part where I talk things down. What else am I good at?
2) I am good at nothing.
We talked about that, remember? Quit rehashing previously discussed material. Let's ask the more pertinent question: What am I passable at? Most things, so that answer is irrelevant. The real question is, what do I like doing? That is the question for the ages. I don't have any idea.
I think I might enjoy being a writer, except that I have nothing to write about. Which brings us back to where we started, with Nikolle. Or Nickolle, or Nicolle or however you spell it. I told N~~~~~~~e that I might like to be a writer, but I dont' know what to write about. N~~~~~~~~e found this inspiring. She said she thought it was so fascinating to see what is going on in the brain of someone who is free flow writing the despairing futility purposelessness. A nice thought, don't you think? I do. But it says a lot more about N~~~~~~~e than it does about me. She is a positive, upbeat person with a uniquely inquisitive take on the world. Whereas I am just like every other 20-something, single college dude with nothing to do. I want to think that this apathetic and aimless complaining I'm doing is due to some profound journey of self-discovery. In reality, if I were to be totally honest with myself, it is more accurately just a symptom of my inability to accomplish anything. This wandering and wondering can mostly be traced back to the fact that I don't have the drive to actually do any of the things I want to do. For example:
I would love to be one of those intellectuals who can talk to you about philosophy, and has read whatever it is you're talking about. I would love to actually read those Scientific American's I am receiving instead of just piling them on the back of my toilet. I would love to be one of those people who watched Pan's Labyrinth for more than the visual effects. I didn't even know that movie had a point until I watched the commentaries. I would love to be any of those things, but I'm not. And here's the kicker; I have the time to do all that. I just don't. However, I am pretty dang good at this game.
All this rambling brings us now to the fun part of my brain slewage. What do we blame for this? I'm sure as hell not going to blame me. However, I would like to blame the fact that I have nothing to look forward to. There is nothing in my future, so there is no reason to get there. As far as I can tell, next year will be exactly like this year, but my body will have broken down a little. Which is fine. I don't really care. And there's that problem again.....
Now, I didn't write this to complain. I wrote this because these are the thoughts I am thinking, and I does me good to discuss them, even if it is just with myself. Especially if it is just with myself. After all, I am a pretty good conversationalist.
This post written while listening to this.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Which Came First? The Nerd, or The Dice?
I spend a lot of time in the nerdier parts of the world. I am myself a nerd. And I have the privilege of associating with and observing many other nerds. Before I dive into my thought, I would like to take a detour to discuss some social stigmas.
As a general rule, people are defined by their activities. This is not an all encompassing rule, but it pretty much holds true. Play sports, you're a jock. Act in a play, you're a thespian. Nerds also are defined by their activities, of which I will list a few:
Dungeons and Dragons, any form of online gaming, video games in general, Magic: The Gathering, role-playing of any kind, etc. Engaging in any or all of these activities identifies a person as a nerd. And most of these activities are dubbed by society, anti-social or weird. I do not wish to argue the weirdness of these nerdtivities. I don't care. But I have noticed one thing; all of these activities are escapist. They all allow the participant to be someone or something else.
Often, nerds are single, struggle to make friends, and don't usually follow the standard rules of appearance. In my observations, nerds nerd because they don't have anywhere else to get their feeling of accomplishment. One thought is that nerds nerd because they are single.
And this leads me directly to my question. Do nerds nerd because they are single? Or do they nerd because they are seeking solace. It's a bit of a chicken and egg question, but I still think it warrants a few minutes of our attention. Are nerds participating in these nerdy activities because they are single and are seeking something to fulfill them? Or do the activities themselves assure the continued single status of the nerds who participate? Now, I realize that this is not a foolproof paradigm. I know many people who participate in nerdivities, who are not nerds of the stereotypical variety. But still, that doesn't change the fact that there are so many out there who really are nerds, that I am certain you all know what I am talking about.
So what is the answer? Why are most nerds alonely? Is it because of the nerding? Or do they nerd because of the aloneliness. I don't know that I will ever know the answer. But, considering my current life trajectory, it may well be in my best interests to find out. Soon...
As a general rule, people are defined by their activities. This is not an all encompassing rule, but it pretty much holds true. Play sports, you're a jock. Act in a play, you're a thespian. Nerds also are defined by their activities, of which I will list a few:
Dungeons and Dragons, any form of online gaming, video games in general, Magic: The Gathering, role-playing of any kind, etc. Engaging in any or all of these activities identifies a person as a nerd. And most of these activities are dubbed by society, anti-social or weird. I do not wish to argue the weirdness of these nerdtivities. I don't care. But I have noticed one thing; all of these activities are escapist. They all allow the participant to be someone or something else. Often, nerds are single, struggle to make friends, and don't usually follow the standard rules of appearance. In my observations, nerds nerd because they don't have anywhere else to get their feeling of accomplishment. One thought is that nerds nerd because they are single.
And this leads me directly to my question. Do nerds nerd because they are single? Or do they nerd because they are seeking solace. It's a bit of a chicken and egg question, but I still think it warrants a few minutes of our attention. Are nerds participating in these nerdy activities because they are single and are seeking something to fulfill them? Or do the activities themselves assure the continued single status of the nerds who participate? Now, I realize that this is not a foolproof paradigm. I know many people who participate in nerdivities, who are not nerds of the stereotypical variety. But still, that doesn't change the fact that there are so many out there who really are nerds, that I am certain you all know what I am talking about.
So what is the answer? Why are most nerds alonely? Is it because of the nerding? Or do they nerd because of the aloneliness. I don't know that I will ever know the answer. But, considering my current life trajectory, it may well be in my best interests to find out. Soon...
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Science of Religion
It has been some time since I have written a post. It has been some time since I have had any thoughts worth writing. But last night I was privy to an interesting discussion. In my wanderings about Provo, I came across a book club discussion. They were discussing a book written by a prominent atheist whose name I didn't quite catch. The discussion wandered around for a little, touching on various ideas from the text, until finally they settled into a longer discussion of morality, intellectualism, atheism and religion. The discussion was centered on morality, namely, "where does your moral standard come from if you have no religion?" As they talked, it became apparent that many of the group did not feel that religion was very important. They felt it necessary to separate their religion (if they had one) from their intellectualism. As they did this, I noticed that they began to take the good qualities from religion and attribute them to whatever intellectual ideal they pleased. 
One of their main points can be described by this sentence, attributed to some philosopher: "Christianity was the boat that got us across the river. It has given us its moral standard. Now that we have crossed the river, as it were, we have no more use for the boat." This sentence saddens me.
I hardly think it needs to be said that I was put into a thoughtful mood by this discussion. As I stood outside the house absorbing the exquisite winter evening, my friend Louis also stepped out of the house, and said something I thought profound. Although I can't remember his exact wording his thought was something like, "Discussions like that are the equivalent of building an intellectual labyrinth around yourself, and it very easy to lose yourself inside that labyrinth." How right you are, Louis.
Do we need religion to maintain a high moral standard? Are the atheist countries of Denmark and Sweden on the forefront of human societal evolution? These were the questions being discussed by the book club. But there were some other thoughts that they seemed to have forgotten. I would like share a couple of my ideas I feel were left out last night.
1) Religion is a human need. Every society on Earth, in every part of history, on every part of the globe has had a religion. Now, these religions come in different forms, but they all give their followers something to believe in. Religion cannot be separated from academic life or done away with. It exists outside humanity.
2) Though there is some variance, morality exists across boundaries and cultures and is largely standardized. It is interesting to see how very similar morality is described in different parts of the world. In my experience, morality often consists of some sort of personal sacrifice, a lifestyle free of addictions, consideration for other people, and some set of rules governing procreation. The worldwide and historical prevalence of these moral qualities seems to suggest a common root. A common religious ancestry.
3) Any religion worth its salt should permeate the believers life. If you are truly a believer of a religion, it should be found in every part of your life. It shouldn't be a garment you where when its convenient and cast aside when you wax intellectual.
I will end with this final thought. Intellectualism is not, of itself, bad. Neither is religion. But if one does not reconcile both in his own life, this is when the labyrinths go up. When the balance is lost and you swing too far to one side or the other, you begin to lose focus. You begin to lose a part of yourself. So, be careful. Balance yourself, be happy, and live up to whatever moral standard you subscribe to.
I hardly think it needs to be said that I was put into a thoughtful mood by this discussion. As I stood outside the house absorbing the exquisite winter evening, my friend Louis also stepped out of the house, and said something I thought profound. Although I can't remember his exact wording his thought was something like, "Discussions like that are the equivalent of building an intellectual labyrinth around yourself, and it very easy to lose yourself inside that labyrinth." How right you are, Louis.
Do we need religion to maintain a high moral standard? Are the atheist countries of Denmark and Sweden on the forefront of human societal evolution? These were the questions being discussed by the book club. But there were some other thoughts that they seemed to have forgotten. I would like share a couple of my ideas I feel were left out last night.
1) Religion is a human need. Every society on Earth, in every part of history, on every part of the globe has had a religion. Now, these religions come in different forms, but they all give their followers something to believe in. Religion cannot be separated from academic life or done away with. It exists outside humanity.
2) Though there is some variance, morality exists across boundaries and cultures and is largely standardized. It is interesting to see how very similar morality is described in different parts of the world. In my experience, morality often consists of some sort of personal sacrifice, a lifestyle free of addictions, consideration for other people, and some set of rules governing procreation. The worldwide and historical prevalence of these moral qualities seems to suggest a common root. A common religious ancestry.
3) Any religion worth its salt should permeate the believers life. If you are truly a believer of a religion, it should be found in every part of your life. It shouldn't be a garment you where when its convenient and cast aside when you wax intellectual.
I will end with this final thought. Intellectualism is not, of itself, bad. Neither is religion. But if one does not reconcile both in his own life, this is when the labyrinths go up. When the balance is lost and you swing too far to one side or the other, you begin to lose focus. You begin to lose a part of yourself. So, be careful. Balance yourself, be happy, and live up to whatever moral standard you subscribe to.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
20 Christmas Thoughts
It is Christmas. I am going to present to you a list of things. It may be related or it may not be. Either way, here it is:
1) My mother will always react to me as though I were 14. Regardless of my age or my action, everything I do is childish.
2) Coffee shops are the best places in the world. They serve as combination study house, social house, food house...they are wonderful and relaxing.
3) I do not feel that presents have any place in Christmas. I don't hate them, but I feel no real need to give or receive them.
4) I should not leave my home for extended periods.
5) It is not that difficult to drive on slick roads, as long as you are comfortable driving slightly sideways.
6) Married people are better at life.
7) Children are better at life. It is good to be quick to smile, quick to laugh, quick to forget.
8) Where I am usually easygoing, forgiving, and kind, my mother brings out my more childish and selfish nature. Perhaps due to item 1.
9) Eating is overrated.
10) I will continue to eat until I incapable of continuing.
11) I will always ignore 9 to do 10, and I will regret it every time. And I will learn nothing.
12) Blizzard has never done anything original. But that doesn't mean I don't love everything they have ever done. And I would never admit to spending hours reading their stories.
13) There is a wall in my life damning my progress. Surmounting this wall requires nothing more than will power, though it is required in copious amounts.
14) I do not do well when separated from the Boyce family.
15) Mass texts are neither festive nor appreciated. Gwen, you are classy enough to realize that. Thank you.
16) My sister has the most developed sense of humor of any person I have interacted with.
17) I have found a way to appreciate Christmas decorations through the fact that they bring others more joy than they bring me annoyance. Economically, they are a net gain.
18) Your inner quality has more influence on your appearance than your appearance has.
19) I love Patrick Stewart.
20) The kindness and generosity of Christmas should not be confined to December. Cheesy, derivative, cliché, true.
1) My mother will always react to me as though I were 14. Regardless of my age or my action, everything I do is childish.
2) Coffee shops are the best places in the world. They serve as combination study house, social house, food house...they are wonderful and relaxing.
3) I do not feel that presents have any place in Christmas. I don't hate them, but I feel no real need to give or receive them.
4) I should not leave my home for extended periods.
5) It is not that difficult to drive on slick roads, as long as you are comfortable driving slightly sideways.
6) Married people are better at life.
7) Children are better at life. It is good to be quick to smile, quick to laugh, quick to forget.
8) Where I am usually easygoing, forgiving, and kind, my mother brings out my more childish and selfish nature. Perhaps due to item 1.
9) Eating is overrated.
10) I will continue to eat until I incapable of continuing.
11) I will always ignore 9 to do 10, and I will regret it every time. And I will learn nothing.
12) Blizzard has never done anything original. But that doesn't mean I don't love everything they have ever done. And I would never admit to spending hours reading their stories.
13) There is a wall in my life damning my progress. Surmounting this wall requires nothing more than will power, though it is required in copious amounts.
14) I do not do well when separated from the Boyce family.
15) Mass texts are neither festive nor appreciated. Gwen, you are classy enough to realize that. Thank you.
16) My sister has the most developed sense of humor of any person I have interacted with.
17) I have found a way to appreciate Christmas decorations through the fact that they bring others more joy than they bring me annoyance. Economically, they are a net gain.
18) Your inner quality has more influence on your appearance than your appearance has.
19) I love Patrick Stewart.
20) The kindness and generosity of Christmas should not be confined to December. Cheesy, derivative, cliché, true.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
HUG
I would like to take this moment to discuss something we are all familiar with. Something you should be doing daily. Something that has been around since the first humans, and probably before. Something that is simpler than sneezing, but when done correctly, has the power to change the world. What could this be?? What in the world is he talking about?? I am talking about the hug. Yes, the hug. Here are my thoughts on this all powerful human expression.
I think that before we discuss the power of the hug, we should talk a bit about how one should properly hug. After all, if done incorrectly, a hug can be anything from awkward to creepy. A proper hug should take into account a number of factors:
1) Know who you are hugging
2) Know when to hug
3) Know when to let go
Now that we know how to hug, we should talk about why to hug. Hugs really aren't that complicated. You put your arms around someone, and they reciprocate. Usually. But what is it really, that you are doing? It isn't simply an encirclement of arms. That is, of itself, silly. I like to think of hugs as taking a big armful of happiness and squeezing it into both participants. To put it more clearly, hugs should be pure expressions of caring. And that is why all the above rules apply. You follow those rules because you care about the person. People can tell if you don't care. And then they just think you're weird.
Why would I take the time to discuss this? I don't know. I haven't bothered to figure that out. Suffice it to say that I have, and here it is.
I think that before we discuss the power of the hug, we should talk a bit about how one should properly hug. After all, if done incorrectly, a hug can be anything from awkward to creepy. A proper hug should take into account a number of factors:
1) Know who you are hugging
It is very important that you think about your hugee. If you are hugging someone who is uncomfortable touching people, you should not linger. For these people, a brief side hug may be more appropriate. Know your hugee, and act appropriately.
2) Know when to hug
There are times that it is okay to hug, and times it is not okay. For example, it is not appropriate to hug an old friend of the opposite sex if their significant other is present. Of course, there may be exceptions to this, but as a general rule, it is polite not to do so.
3) Know when to let go
There are different times to let go. I think we can all agree that, as a general rule, you should let go after a light squeeze. And then there are the people who prefer a bit longer hug. They don't really pose a problem, unless you are a short hugger. But, this segues nicely into part two of our discussion.
Now that we know how to hug, we should talk about why to hug. Hugs really aren't that complicated. You put your arms around someone, and they reciprocate. Usually. But what is it really, that you are doing? It isn't simply an encirclement of arms. That is, of itself, silly. I like to think of hugs as taking a big armful of happiness and squeezing it into both participants. To put it more clearly, hugs should be pure expressions of caring. And that is why all the above rules apply. You follow those rules because you care about the person. People can tell if you don't care. And then they just think you're weird.
Why would I take the time to discuss this? I don't know. I haven't bothered to figure that out. Suffice it to say that I have, and here it is.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Lyrical Assistance
Okay, so I got bored the other day and decided to write some acoustic fantasy rock. With a little inspiration I got something going. However, I only got a little bit of the lyrics done before I ran out of fantastical juice. Below I will post what I have, and I ask that you all contribute whatever you can, keeping in mind that it is intentionally overdramatic and ridiculous. Try to think "fantasy" while you write. Here goes:
Three days away the the sunlight's burning through
Drilling in and burning out all my mem'ries of you
But still I ride, I'm pushing on across this arid hell
Time is short and well I know the darkness of your cell
The fortress looms ahead, it's shadow blocks the sun
Its cold embrace is full of hate; he'll rue the harm he's done
My thoughts of you lift me up and give me strength so stand
I'll find you and I'll set you free and take you by the hand
(chorus)
Fly-y-y away
Upon the wings of everything you've ever dreamed of
Fly-y-y away, my love
Safe from every evil thing we'll live among the stars
We'll fly away
Everything is open to suggestion. And anyone who wants to come help me write it is more than welcome.
Three days away the the sunlight's burning through
Drilling in and burning out all my mem'ries of you
But still I ride, I'm pushing on across this arid hell
Time is short and well I know the darkness of your cell
The fortress looms ahead, it's shadow blocks the sun
Its cold embrace is full of hate; he'll rue the harm he's done
My thoughts of you lift me up and give me strength so stand
I'll find you and I'll set you free and take you by the hand
(chorus)
Fly-y-y away
Upon the wings of everything you've ever dreamed of
Fly-y-y away, my love
Safe from every evil thing we'll live among the stars
We'll fly away
Everything is open to suggestion. And anyone who wants to come help me write it is more than welcome.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Not Just A Phad
So, today I was looking at the facebook pictures of a friend. I won't say who, because I don't want anyone to feel bad that it wasn't them. Anyway...I was going through her pictures and I thought to myself, "Wow...she really is exemplary of beauty." (Yes, that is how I talk in my head.) And I began to wonder why. I have decided that the reason she is so spectacularly gorgeous is because of who she is. She is really a truly remarkable woman. She is Christlike and kind and very hard working. She sticks to a life plan and is moving through it well. And in all this she manages to keep herself physically fit and healthy. Overall, an exemplary human, yes? And I realized that I have many friends who are equally exemplary. Perhaps a few of them aren't as successful, or maybe one is not quite as fit, but I have many friends who are, in all reality, much better people than myself. I have the privilege of being surrounded by the most amazing of people. I have said this before, but I would like to say it again:
Thank you.
Life does not generally bless me with luck. Rather, life has blessed me with an abundance of friends and acquaintances who improve my life quite a bit more than any amount of luck.
Although, I wouldn't mind a little luck either...
Thank you.
Life does not generally bless me with luck. Rather, life has blessed me with an abundance of friends and acquaintances who improve my life quite a bit more than any amount of luck.
Although, I wouldn't mind a little luck either...
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