20 Christmas Thoughts

It is Christmas. I am going to present to you a list of things. It may be related or it may not be. Either way, here it is:

1) My mother will always react to me as though I were 14. Regardless of my age or my action, everything I do is childish.
2) Coffee shops are the best places in the world. They serve as combination study house, social house, food house...they are wonderful and relaxing.
3) I do not feel that presents have any place in Christmas. I don't hate them, but I feel no real need to give or receive them.
4) I should not leave my home for extended periods.
5) It is not that difficult to drive on slick roads, as long as you are comfortable driving slightly sideways.
6) Married people are better at life.
7) Children are better at life. It is good to be quick to smile, quick to laugh, quick to forget.
8) Where I am usually easygoing, forgiving, and kind, my mother brings out my more childish and selfish nature. Perhaps due to item 1.
9) Eating is overrated.
10) I will continue to eat until I incapable of continuing.
11) I will always ignore 9 to do 10, and I will regret it every time. And I will learn nothing.
12) Blizzard has never done anything original. But that doesn't mean I don't love everything they have ever done. And I would never admit to spending hours reading their stories.
13) There is a wall in my life damning my progress. Surmounting this wall requires nothing more than will power, though it is required in copious amounts.
14) I do not do well when separated from the Boyce family.
15) Mass texts are neither festive nor appreciated. Gwen, you are classy enough to realize that. Thank you.
16) My sister has the most developed sense of humor of any person I have interacted with.
17) I have found a way to appreciate Christmas decorations through the fact that they bring others more joy than they bring me annoyance. Economically, they are a net gain.
18) Your inner quality has more influence on your appearance than your appearance has.
19) I love Patrick Stewart.
20) The kindness and generosity of Christmas should not be confined to December. Cheesy, derivative, cliché, true.

HUG

I would like to take this moment to discuss something we are all familiar with. Something you should be doing daily. Something that has been around since the first humans, and probably before. Something that is simpler than sneezing, but when done correctly, has the power to change the world. What could this be?? What in the world is he talking about?? I am talking about the hug. Yes, the hug. Here are my thoughts on this all powerful human expression.

I think that before we discuss the power of the hug, we should talk a bit about how one should properly hug. After all, if done incorrectly, a hug can be anything from awkward to creepy. A proper hug should take into account a number of factors:

1) Know who you are hugging

It is very important that you think about your hugee. If you are hugging someone who is uncomfortable touching people, you should not linger. For these people, a brief side hug may be more appropriate. Know your hugee, and act appropriately.

2) Know when to hug

There are times that it is okay to hug, and times it is not okay. For example, it is not appropriate to hug an old friend of the opposite sex if their significant other is present. Of course, there may be exceptions to this, but as a general rule, it is polite not to do so.

3) Know when to let go

There are different times to let go. I think we can all agree that, as a general rule, you should let go after a light squeeze. And then there are the people who prefer a bit longer hug. They don't really pose a problem, unless you are a short hugger. But, this segues nicely into part two of our discussion.

Now that we know how to hug, we should talk about why to hug. Hugs really aren't that complicated. You put your arms around someone, and they reciprocate. Usually. But what is it really, that you are doing? It isn't simply an encirclement of arms. That is, of itself, silly. I like to think of hugs as taking a big armful of happiness and squeezing it into both participants. To put it more clearly, hugs should be pure expressions of caring. And that is why all the above rules apply. You follow those rules because you care about the person. People can tell if you don't care. And then they just think you're weird.

Why would I take the time to discuss this? I don't know. I haven't bothered to figure that out. Suffice it to say that I have, and here it is.

Lyrical Assistance

Okay, so I got bored the other day and decided to write some acoustic fantasy rock. With a little inspiration I got something going. However, I only got a little bit of the lyrics done before I ran out of fantastical juice. Below I will post what I have, and I ask that you all contribute whatever you can, keeping in mind that it is intentionally overdramatic and ridiculous. Try to think "fantasy" while you write. Here goes:



Three days away the the sunlight's burning through
Drilling in and burning out all my mem'ries of you
But still I ride, I'm pushing on across this arid hell
Time is short and well I know the darkness of your cell

The fortress looms ahead, it's shadow blocks the sun
Its cold embrace is full of hate; he'll rue the harm he's done
My thoughts of you lift me up and give me strength so stand
I'll find you and I'll set you free and take you by the hand

(chorus)
Fly-y-y away
Upon the wings of everything you've ever dreamed of
Fly-y-y away, my love
Safe from every evil thing we'll live among the stars
We'll fly away


Everything is open to suggestion. And anyone who wants to come help me write it is more than welcome.

Not Just A Phad

So, today I was looking at the facebook pictures of a friend. I won't say who, because I don't want anyone to feel bad that it wasn't them. Anyway...I was going through her pictures and I thought to myself, "Wow...she really is exemplary of beauty." (Yes, that is how I talk in my head.) And I began to wonder why. I have decided that the reason she is so spectacularly gorgeous is because of who she is. She is really a truly remarkable woman. She is Christlike and kind and very hard working. She sticks to a life plan and is moving through it well. And in all this she manages to keep herself physically fit and healthy. Overall, an exemplary human, yes? And I realized that I have many friends who are equally exemplary. Perhaps a few of them aren't as successful, or maybe one is not quite as fit, but I have many friends who are, in all reality, much better people than myself. I have the privilege of being surrounded by the most amazing of people. I have said this before, but I would like to say it again:

Thank you.

Life does not generally bless me with luck. Rather, life has blessed me with an abundance of friends and acquaintances who improve my life quite a bit more than any amount of luck.

Although, I wouldn't mind a little luck either...

Advice From Mr. Smiles

"Every human being has duties to be performed, and, therefore, has need of cultrivating the capacity for doing them.

An hour wasted daily on trifles or indolence, would, if devoted to self-improvements, make an ignorant man wise in a few years, and, employed in good works, would make his life fruitful, and death a worthy havest of worthy deeds. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to self-improvement, will be felt at the end of the year."

--Samuel Smiles from his book Self-Help

This isn't a particularly long or insightful post. But it is an indication of how my mind has been working lately. I am taking things from all over the place and applying them to my life somehow. I was watching Sin-City and I managed to apply some of the images and characters in the movie to myself, illustrating ways that I could improve and grow. I have been thinking a lot lately about that state of my person. I have read so much and learned so much, that by this point I really should be an amazing individual. However, I am not. And in my constant quest to improve, I am finding that the world is full of things I can use to learn and grow. I am really enjoying it. Lately, I have learned from conversations with Camille, hanging out with Russell, watching movies, reading for school, reading webcomics.....pretty much everything in my life is working to improve me. That means I am either a very good person becoming better, or I am so awful the world has given up on hints and is just telling me what's wrong. I'm going with option A.

Will It Last?

Listen to this while you read:




Music is an inarguable important part of our lives. Every generation has the music it prefers. But some generations have music that lives on. Every so often, a musician surfaces who's influence is greater than average. A musician who's influence inexorably penetrates every corner of society, effecting an entire generation of musicians. I would like to discuss some of those artists, both past and present.

First, let us look back. Not quite to the classical, but pretty far back. We all already know how influential artists like Beethoven, or Mozart have been. But back then, there were really only two kinds of music: folk, or classical. But with the industrial revolution and the introduction of leisure time, music has split into many genres, many of which influence the others.

Let's begin with the first song in our play list. Big Bill Broonzy was a country blues musician who's career began in the 1920's. His music later influenced musicians like Muddy Waters and Eric Clapton. And he was an early pioneer in what would become a hugely influential genre of music, blues. He wasn't as widely popular as some musicians we will discuss later, but he was pretty important.

Next, let's talk about Glenn Miller. It is hard to find somebody who hasn't heard this song. This song, released in 1939, had quite an impact on the progression of modern music. I think you can hear that influence in the song Sh-boom by The Chords.

The next artist I want to talk about may be one of the most influential musicians in all of history. Bob Dylan has been shaping music since his first releases in the 1960's. That is almost 50 years. He obviously has lasting power. In fact, his era produced many artists who's music is still relevant and effecting musicians. The Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix had an effect that is arguably equal to that of Bob Dylan. The 70's saw the rise of The Eagles, who's album Hotel California is widely recognized as one of the greatest albums of all time. In the 1980's we were blessed with Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson is to pop music what the Continental GT is to cars.

Of course I haven't listed every artist of import. Each generation produces a number of musicians who's influence is of varying degrees of impact and lasting power. But what I wanted to do with this post is talk about who I think has that lasting power now. I wanted to talk about musicians who haven't been around long enough for history to venerate them, but who I think are already influential.

So...let's get started.

I feel like this first song is awesome enough to deserve the whole video.

Dave Grohl is amazing. He got started back in Nirvana as their drummer, where he saw plenty of success along with Kurt Cobain. Sadly, Kurt decided life just wasn't worth it and blew his brains out with a shotgun. Not to be stopped, Dave went on to have a stellar solo career. Dave formed the Foo Fighters. These guys have been cranking out hits since their inception in 1995, and I'm pretty sure their (mostly Dave's) influence is here to stay. When I have 26 year-old children, they will be playing Foo Fighters on the oldies station.

My next artist is Jason Mraz. Whether or not you like him, I am certain you have heard him. And you have to admit, this guy has talent. He has a fantastic voice and is a gifted song writer and lyricist. Also, his songs have wide enough appeal that they have a pretty darn good chance of catching the fancy of future generations of angsty teenagers looking for an alternative to whatever is popular in their day. The Red Hot Chili Peppers have been around for a while. Almost 20 years. And in that time they have never really lacked for radio play. Their music will certainly be a part of the next 30 years.

Of course, there are many that I didn't mention, but this is just a sampling. Think about today's artists. Who is going to last? Who is going to have a cult following? Who is even playing original music, and who is playing generic copy-crap? Leave me your thoughts below.

Let Us Be Babies!!

When is the last time you sang? I mean really sang. Just let go of everything and shouted at the top of your lungs type of singing. How about dancing. When is the last time you really let your body dance?

Dancing and singing are what I have identified as the two most natural forms of human expression. Why did I pick these two? Watch these videos:



These kids were not thinking about what people thought about them. Well, that Korean kid might have. But he didn't care how he sounded. These children were just enjoying the experience of dancing and singing, respectively. Why does that stop? I know many people who never let themselves break into song or dance. And if they do, it is very carefully controlled song or dance, calculated to make them look good to the people watching. I propose we stop caring what people think of our dancing and singing. We should be able to dance however we please. If I want to flail like a jellyfish to shameless pop music, I am going to. I will sing at the top of my lungs to songs that are waaaay to high for me, and I will not be ashamed. And I invite you all to join me. Let us designate October 1st as the day we all dance and sing however we please. Will you join me?

The Merritts of Metal and Acoustica

I love music. And because I love music, I love sharing good music with people. So, in this post I am going to share some music I like with you all. I hope you at least give it a listen, even if you don't like it.

First on our list is Chris Merritt. My friend Beau has been trying to get me to listen to this guy for ages, and this summer I finally gave him a listen. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I thought he would just be the same as every other pop artist. While I have to admit that he is strictly pop music, I also have to admit that he has a very individual feel to his music. He has managed to do the same thing as everyone else, but in a way that feels completely his. When listening to his music, I often feel like he is really having fun with his songs. They have a lighthearted feel that I really appreciate. Check out this free sample here.

Next let us talk about Built To Spill. I have loved this band since high school and this Friday they are coming to SLC. AND I GET TO GO!!! I am so freaking stoked. It almost makes up for the fact that I have missed Brandi Carlile every single time she has come to Utah. So enjoy this video of Built To Spill playing a pretty darn good song.


Lest things become too much the same, allow me to show you a different kind of song that I have been loving lately. Please forgive the video. It is quite a creative concept, but the girls are embarrassments to rock music.


My last musical selection is a band I discovered through my favorite webcomic Questionable Content. If you check out the comic, be sure to start at the beginning or it won't make any sense. As far as the music goes, these guys are creative and eclectic. This is their most catchy song. It gets stuck in my head for weeks at a time.


So, enjoy these, please, and support the artists the best you know how.

Wasting Time

The interesting thing about the internet is that it has given everyone a unique new way to waste time. I don't mean that the internet is new. What I mean is, in the ever-expanding interweb, there is something to be found that will interest you. Something that will catch your attention for hours at a time without you even realizing it. Perhaps you are a person who loves Facebook. I know I have spent more time browsing that damn book that I ever should have. Or if that doesn't catch your fancy, maybe you are a blog reader. Some of us are forum-hounds. Some of us are gamers. Some of us spend hours browsing the internet and reading scholarly research. The point is, every person you or I know can find a way to waste time on the interwebs, and probably already has.

Why?

Let me relate a conversation I once had:

Friend (probably girl): "Why do you waste so much time playing video games?"

Me (probably boy): "I don't really. Well, maybe I do. I don't know. They are fun? Do you not waste time?"

Girl: "Not really. I never play games."

Me: "You don't waste time on facebook?"

Girl: "Well, some...."

(This conversation may or may not have happened. I might be making it up.)

The point of this conversation has nothing to do with games. I couldn't care less how you waste your time. The point is that we do waste our time. Before I had video games, I had books. Before televisions, we had the newspaper. Before the newspaper, we had the rocking chair. We humans always find ways to waste our time. And it would seem that all of our effort goes towards finding ways to free up more time for wasting. Industrialization? Freed up lots of time, which Americans promptly began to waste. We have an enormous entertainment industry whose soul purpose is to make our wasted time more enjoyable. It is an entire industry based around our desire to do nothing. What is it about humankind that makes us want to waste our time? I honestly have no idea. But I would love to hear what your thoughts are.

The Ugly Face Of Fear

I have come to a conclusion. It is based on years of evidence. I am convinced that this is the only explanation for the phenomenon. What phenomenon? Let me explain.

If I sit in an empty room, surrounded by empty chairs, the seats next to me will be the last seats occupied. This is always true. For example, in my Econ class on Tuesday, I saw Karen from my ward. She looked at me, and I said hello an waved. She then sat three rows behind me. As the room filled up, the seats next to me remained empty. Another example: every Sunday at church, no matter where I sit, the seats next to me will remain unoccupied until the very last possible moment when there are no other seats anywhere. I have even seen people sit on the floor, rather than sit by me. And I have come up with an explanation for this.

I must be terrifying.

My appearance has to be the most intimidating, fear inspiring appearance on earth. People are actually afraid to sit next to me. And I understand this. I am pretty darn manly. So manly in fact, I could scare a bear to death with one grimace. Apparently.

An alternative explanation is that I am truly hideous. I mean the kind of hideous they make movies about. The kind of hideous that plastic surgeons are willing to fix for free, if only I'll stop looking at them. I find this explanation implausible, considering how likely it is that my frightening manliness translates directly into attractiveness. That actually gives another option. I am so good looking, people are intimidated by me. They can't sit by someone that good looking, lest they appear ugly by comparison. That must be it.

Well, world, you are pretty just as you are. I am not going to bite you. Now come talk to me in class.

Frosted, Corn, and Wheaties

Let us mull over the thoughts in my head.

I have been thinking lately about people's intentions. To be specific, I am thinking about how a person's actions speak volumes about them. All too often these actions do not agree with the words of the individual. People often say they care about someone while at the same time falling through on commitments with said person. I am not talking about backing out of a marriage proposal. I am speaking of verbal agreements, more commonly called invitations, that are extended and accepted by people every day. But, it has been my experience that people are more than willing to accept an invitation without ever actually following through. Or, similarly, they will say something along the lines of, "Let's get lunch sometime!" and then promptly forget the whole idea.

Now, I am not whining here. I already whined at my sister about the whole thing. What I want to do here is muse about the potential for understanding the people described above (we will call them Flakes) and their motivations below the conscious level.

I have a theory in life that you can tell what a person actually cares about by looking at what they make time for. People who love to knit will knit, no matter how busy they get. People who love to cook will cook. Similarly, if a Sandy cares about Ted, she will say, "Let's get lunch!" and then she will make time for lunch with him. When Richmond says to Taylor, "I'll call you after work and we can go thrift shopping," and then never calls, we can assume that he didn't actually care.

And, as with most of life, there is a continuum. The more frequently someone falls through on plans, the higher the probability that they are a Flake. And the less likely they care about you. Although, I take issue with myself here. I know a lot of Flakes. And were you to ask most of them, they would tell you that they care. They care about me, and they care about everyone else, and they feel bad about all the events that have helped them achieve the title "Flake". And these people confuse me. These people fall in a grey spot in my continuum. Sometimes they make time for me, sometimes not. How should these people be classified? Are they Flakes? Do they care? I don't know what to do with them.

To end these musings, I have a question: Is this a cause-effect relationship? A people Flakes because they don't care? And can you, by forcing yourself to follow through, cause yourself to care? It is thoughts like these that keep me up at night. Let me know what you think.

Ancient Wisdom

I wanted to share with you a bit of what I am reading, because I quite like it.

Gifts to and fro help a friendship endure.

To a friend be a friend and give gift for gift;
Jest should be taken with jest, wile with wile.

To a friend be a friend, both to him and his friend;
But to enemy's friend, be not bound by friendship.

If you know a friend, believe in him and desire his goodwill,
Go share his tastes, and gifts exchange; go often seek him out.

When I was young I traveled alone and wandered away from the road;
I thought myself rich when I met with a man, for a man is good company.

Noble, courageous men live best; they seldom harbor sorrow.
A foolish man fears many things and begrudges every gift.

The Sounds of Happiness

These are songs I have put together to brighten your day. It is by no means a comprehensive list of all happy songs ever, but it is a good collection nonetheless. I dare you to listen to the whole playlist and be cranky at the end (contrary people need not take this challenge).

So, that being said, enjoy chair dancing (or regular dancing) to this list of happy.

Open-Faced Sandwhich

We live in a society that seems to be full of people who are unwilling to be vulnerable, who are too easily offended and who are horrified that they might give reason for others to feel offended. While none of these qualities are evil of themselves, they have become so prevalent in the world in which I live, that they are almost crippling. Nobody can say or do anything because somebody else might get offended and make a big stink about it. This attitude is so common that people are applying it to situations where it doesn't need to be applied. And I have decided to fight this trend.

I was talking with my friend Camille the other day. She is quite an amazing individual. She also believes in being honest and speaking what she feels. There is no reason to be subtle about something, dropping hints at what you want and hoping someone else catches your hints and is willing to act on them. (although, acting is dangerous. It might offend...) This problem seems especially plague Provo's dating world. Nobody is ever willing to actually tell another person they are interested. And so nobody ever gets anyone they want. And they all complain about it, myself included. But no longer!! I am going to begin to tell people what I want. Whether I want to date a girl, go to Taco Bell, or dance swing even though I'm awful, I am going to just come out and say it.

This same idea applies to making friends. If I want to be friends with a person, I am going to invite him/her to activities with me. I will proactively obtain said person's phone number and I will use it without chagrin.

By the same token, I sincerely hope that nobody is offended by this. I really do like people, and I want you all to be happy. However, in the interest of improving the world around me, I am going to buck this unfortunate social trend. Wish me luck!!

Coffee, Rain, and You

This is a chai latte. Although not all chai lattes are blessed with antennae like this one, they are almost all delicious. Why am I making you look at this tasty dactyl? Because it is a starting point for my thought.

The other day I was having a conversation with somebody (Russell maybe?) and were discussing coffee shops and the people who frequent them. I mentioned that I happen to enjoy sitting around a coffee shop, sipping a chai and nibbling a muffin while I read a book or chat with friends. And it occurred to me that most people from Portland enjoy this pastime. In fact, most people from the Pacific Northwest enjoy this pastime. What is it about living on the rainy west coast that makes you a hipster? And are all coffee shop junkies hipsters? I would like to think that I am not a hipster, just a regular fellow.

So, what do you think? Did living in Portland make me this way? Or did I live in Portland due to a predisposition to sit in coffee shops?

Cheese and Wine

Those who know me would probably agree that I am a fairly confident fellow. I carry myself pretty confidently, and I am comfortable with my appearance. I like my hobbies and the person they make me. Generally, I feel that I can say I actually truly like me. But I noticed tonight that I still feel that I am undeserving of so much in life. A group of people I know went on a bike ride tonight and Jeff invited me to come. I politely turned him down, and as he rode away, I tried to figure out why. I have come up with a theory, which I will now present before you:

The group of people going were people who I consider really, really quality people who I kind of wish I could be more like. They are the people who are confident and are following their desire and actually accomplishing cool things. Also, one of them was a girl I have met many times previously who is, to put it frankly, stunning. Perfect ten in appearance, and as far as I know, a killer personality. And the reason my bizarre mind came up with to turn them down was the lurking suspicion that I just don't deserve to go. The idea that I am a step down from them, like in a caste system.

This is absolutely ridiculous. I know them, and I like them, and they like me. But for some reason, I often feel like I would be a burden. I don't want to be in the way or irritating. So I don't go. Or if I do go, I sit quietly in the back and let them enjoy themselves without me (Whoever "they" happen to be at the time). And this tendency leads me to feel left out quite a bit. Although I am in reality left out, it can probably be traced back to me.

BUT...

This leads me to another topic that I want to complain about. I know, complaining is annoying, and I usually don't, but I am going to right now. Because I feel like it, and its my blog. I can do what I want. So, the ten of you who will read this, I apologize. If you are offended, call me and I'll make you cookies.

Why am I always the one who has to be friendly? I have been in my ward for over a year, and I know pretty much everyone in the ward by name. I have had at least a short conversation with probably 98% of the people in my ward, and I worked pretty hard to get there. Its not easy to hold a conversation with some of these people. Despite this past year of efforts, I can sit through all three hours of church and I'm lucky if one person takes the time to say hello to me. Why is this? How can I go to a class every single day and sit next to the same small number of people and not one of them will ever say hello to me? I realize that I can't complain if I'm not doing anything, but I have lots of acquaintances and friends who I introduced myself to, and I am the one who always follows up in maintaining the connection. And sometimes, I just get tired of it. It is these times when I wonder, "Am I scary looking?" Maybe I have the appearance of a loony or a criminal.

Now, I know there is no real reason. Simply put, most people just don't think about that. They don't have the strange brain that I have. Most people we see a person alone in a park and not think twice about it. I, on the other hand, am quite likely to walk over and invite that person to participate in whatever my group is doing. So I can't hold other people up to the same strange standard as myself. But it still gets irritating sometimes when nobody says hello.

So my irritations today are that I somehow managed to convince myself that I don't deserve to be friends with the people I think are the coolest, and I am the only person in the world who seems to care about inviting other people to be friends.



Postscript: I realize that Jeff's invitation tonight flies in the face of my later rant, but let it be known that Jeff's invitation is an anomaly.

Sitting In Place

Occasionally, life presents you with something rather desirable. Sometimes, life, the middle-aged meddler, will present you with something else at the same time that is perhaps more desirable, though less obtainable. (Oh! I love the Pumpkins. 1979, sing to me) The problem with this scenario is that usually we have to choose one or the other. An example would be, "Do you want to very probably go to Mexico, or maybe go to Spain?" See what I mean? One is easier to get, but not as cool. The other, rarer and cooler. And that is enough background for today's question:

How often do we pass up something good in hopes of something better?

Considering my current position in life it is not surprising that I would apply this line of thinking to marriage and its affiliates. There are many wonderful women in the world. Occasionally, they deign to date us mediocre men. Most relationships fail, either by choice or simply due to their explosive nature. Either way, most relationships end before the babies start happening. And I feel like some of these endings can be traced back to one or the other passing up the "something good" that they have in hand to hopefully be available for "something better" they hope is at the next stop. Why? Trace this back to another closely held belief of mine.

People could benefit from being wherever they are. All too often I have seen friends focus on changes just over the horizon as the beginning of their happiness. What they never realize is that no matter how far you move, the horizon is always in front of you. You will never actually reach it, and therefore will never reach your happiness. The happiest people are those who learn to enjoy their current place in life. Tying this back in to the above thoughts, there would be many happy marriages if people could simply see the beautiful that they have. Please see this as very different that settling. People who settle still wish for what's over the horizon. People who learn to be happy are truly happy with what they have, because all they see is the good.

And, as often, I would like to follow up my thoughts with a call to action. Let us all learn to be where we are. Let us learn to be with whoever we are with. Let us choose to be happy.

Beautiful Adventure

Lately, I have found myself wanting more out of life. I am not happy with climbing three times a week and spending the rest of my time essentially immobile, in one activity or another. Sure, I go on the occasional weekly bike ride. Sure, I go slacklining monthly. But I'm just no happy with the way things are. I have met quite a number of people lately who are well traveled and well experienced. They have lived in Italy, or backpacked through Peru, or lived in a van in Jackson for a year. The more people I meet, the more I am able to identify a pattern: the coolest people I know are the people who have had the most varied experiences.

And this causes me to wonder about my own life. I have had very few experiences. I have been to Alaska for a summer. That pretty much covers it. I don't even make weekend climbing trips. I am in the epicenter of great western climbing trips, and I have made one. That is pathetic. Add to this the fact that I am a recreation major, and you begin to wonder what the bugger is wrong with me. Why am I not experiencing life and the world?

In the past, I always attributed this to the fact that I am just not a traveler. But maybe I was just thinking about it wrong. To me, traveling always just seemed like a waste of time. You go somewhere, you look at stuff, you spend money, you come home. But maybe there is a different way to go about it. Maybe traveling is about absorbing more of the world. Maybe it is about experiencing people and places and using those experiences to grow and improve yourself. And maybe I should try it?

All of these thoughts are brought on by the absolutely incredible people I have met. I look at these people and wonder how they can be so amazing. And I have realized that they all have the same thing in common. They have actually done some really cool things. So, in my quest to improve myself, it would seem that I need to put some really cool things in the queue. Maybe I will go hike the appalachain trail. Maybe I will live in England after I graduate. Maybe I will just start weekly trips to adventure on my weekends. Whatever it is, something has to happen. I have to start experiencing the world that God has created for me.

So, Yes, I would like to go with you to Zion. Yes, I would like to go boating. Yes, I would like to go live in Italy with you. And Yes, you are invited this weekend to go to Goblin Valley.

SufjanWineFrapp

Much of music today is the same. It is remarkably hard to come up with a song that won't cause someone to say, "Hey...that sounds a lot like Martyr Killer." (I made that band up, I think. Although metal-heads everywhere are already forming that band). For example, this guy sounds pretty much exactly like this guy. But I have decided that this is okay. If you like it from one source, why wouldn't you enjoy it from another source?

I have come across music snobs on a fairly regular basis. In fact, most of my life I was a music snob. In fact, the angriest I have ever been was the first time I heard this song. Since that moment I have come to grips with my music snobbery. I have learned to enjoy slow by Kylie Minogue (forgive the video) and also enjoy Golfrapp without feeling like its just a cheap Kylie frap-off. (I am so dang funny).

This whole round of thoughts comes from a couple conversations with my roomie Steven. This week I had the chance to record with The Brocks, a band here in Provo. It was quite a bit of fun, and the band is actually really good. I quite like them. But when I showed Steven, all he could say was, "It sounds like Dr Dog." It irritated me when he said it, although I didn't know why at the time. I now realize why that bugs me. When people are totally focused on what something sounds like, instead of what they are listening to, they are totally disregarding the effort the musicians put into their music. I feel like more concern should be given to listening to a song or artist for their own good qualities. Enjoy what you're listening to, not what you could listen to. That is my rant. Enjoy.

Beauty vs Me

Attractive women have power. You may not agree with me. If you're an attractive woman (you probably don't think you are, even if it's true), you may not agree with me. But it is true. I can attest to that fact. Science has attested to that fact. Just to be sure, I spent the last hour and a half researching the topic in various scientific journals. And the fact exists that beautiful people have it good. And that's okay. Its a fact of life and there's no point in whining about it. What bothers me is that I don't seem to have any control. Even though I am aware of it, and watching for it, and guarding against it, pretty girls almost always get their pretty-treatment from me. Let me cite an example:

Yesterday I went to first day of classes for Summer term at BYU. As is common for this campus, all of my classes contain varying quantities of attractive women. Actually, let me rephrase. Because I attend BYU, nigh all the females in my classes are attractive in varied levels and degrees. And here is where things become irksome. It is a point of pride in my life that I accept people for who they are and treat them as their actions and behaviors warrant, regardless of external factors. No fewer than twice I caught myself giving the more attractive female variants preferential treatment. And that is simply infuriating. Not that I treated them in this manner, rather that I had no power over the differential in their treatment versus the treatment of more garden variety girls.

It's not that I treat attractive girls any better than I treat anyone else. The difference in my behavior is subtle and hard to explain. I just don't like the fact that pretty people are unintentionally coercing the world around them at all times. None of us even stand a chance. The beautiful people will get what they get (usually better than average) whether we want them to or not.



Say what you will about my theory. But I guarantee life treats her (above) better than it treats me (below).



Okay, that is actually a pretty sexy picture. Of me. Anyway....

While most of my posts have some sort of moral or post at the end, this one does not. I simply wanted to point this out. I would also like to point out that BYU has an inordinate amount of beautiful women. I think they out number the uglies about 4-1. Now that I've put this out there, do what you want with it.

Mutation and You

This is the coolest picture ever.

Good Pickin

DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG EXISTS FOR ENTERTAINMENT. MOST OF THE POSTS ON THIS BLOG CONTAIN PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS MIXED WITH HUMOR. THIS POST CONTAINS NO HUMOR. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Pretty much any time I go to Smith's the person I am with points out the fact that I seem to know everyone in the store. While this is not true, I certainly know a lot of people. I like to make friends and keep friends. I also like to have acquaintances. Because of this predisposition I have a wide and varied network of people who I know and greet at many of the places I frequent, one of which happens to be Smith's. Given this cornucopia of persons, it stands to reason that I have a number of female friends. And now we get to the meat of my thoughts...

I have surrounded myself with the most wonderful women it is possible to know. And many of these girls are such brilliant beacons of humanity that I am confident in putting forward that they are some of the best people I will ever meet. Many of these girls have been, currently are, and will continue to be my examples of a Christlike and beautiful person. I have been blessed simply to know them.

As a final thought, let me thank those of you who have uplifted me and helped me to see myself more clearly. If I am any sort of a good person, I have no doubt you are partly responsible. There is almost no chance of you reading this, but thank you.

And for anyone else reading this, there is a lesson here as well. Because of these girls and women in my life, I am trying to be the kind of person that uplifts the people around me. Let us follow their example and be beacons of uplifting joy.

Sunshine of your Love

This is a declaration. But it is a declaration that needs to be preceded by some thought.

I feel confident in saying that the world could benefit from everyone in it being more loving. If more people made their decisions based on love, rather than greed, ambition, anger, etc., I think the world at large would be greatly improved. So, in the interest of filling the world with a bit more of "the good stuff" (no, I don't mean Jim Beam) let us have a short discussion about the nature of love.

Love is perhaps the most universally admired attribute. It is a defining feature of many, if not all, of our literary heroes, and it is the keystone of all the major religions I could think of just now. Being so important, it must have some sort of definition. Webster defines love as many things, including strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, the score of zero (tennis), and unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. For my purposes, I am going to focus on definitions 2 and 3. Mostly 3.

Gordon B. Hinkley defined the love in a marriage relationship, as in Webster's third definition, as an anxious concern for the happiness and well being of another. Specifically, he said, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." I feel that this definition of love could be broadened and applied to the vastness of the human race. If we all thought more about how we could help our neighborino, rather than how we could make our yard look better than his.... As I think about this, I can't come up with an example of applying this principle to international relations, but I think it is more of the attitude and way of thinking that matters. People who have an external focus tend to make decisions that are the most beneficial to all involved parties. Love, I guess, is a kindness and unselfishness of action.

So, now that we have a rudimentary understanding of how I personally view love (incidentally, my ego believes that everyone should think this way) I can continue on to my declaration.

I am going to be more loving.

Yes, I am going to be more loving. I am going to think more about other people than myself. Or that's the plan anyway. But I am not going to simply say, "I love you" more often. I am actually going to be more loving. I am going to act. I am going to make time to listen, really listen, when people talk to me. I am going to continue to do all the little things I do around my house to keep in nice looking, because I love my roommates. I am going to act on all those thoughts I have. You know the ones. Like when you think, "I should get a flower for Sarah" or "I should write a letter to Grandma."

Hopefully, putting this in writing will put it in my head. And hopefully, I'll be able to have an effect on the world around me. And hopefully, I'll leave the world a little brighter.

Bouldering

I love to climb. I love it outside, I love it inside, I love it on rocks or plastic or concrete or pretty much anything with friction. But bouldering has a place all its own. Bouldering is unique in that it is both extremely powerful and physically demanding. And at the same time, it is one of the most creative activities I have ever pursued. A boulderer can stand in front of a giant chunk of rock and do anything he or she wants. He has the basic pieces given him in the structure of the rock, but she can do anything imaginable with those pieces.

Last week I took a trip to Joe's Valley for some bouldering, and I learned that bouldering is more than just climbing. It is an experience. Because bouldering requires only short bursts of your time, much of a bouldering trip is not even spent bouldering. It is spent skinny dipping in a river. It is spent sitting on top of the rock you conquered, just feeling cool. It is spent chatting with the wonderful people you made the trip with.

Procrasto-student

I have found that sometimes I really just don't want to study. Starting Monday....no, Teusday, I will begin to be the most studious person you know, excluding my room mates.

Something To Share

I just wanted to share this with you. This guy, is amazing, and he comes with an amazing band. Enjoy this.

Check this Video Out

Panther Martin

Sometimes, I feel like Life is a mid forties woman who has just become totally bored with her own life. To make up for her boredom, she comes up with creative ways to toy with those of us who can't alter the universe. I think she takes especial pleasure in toying with me. Not torturing. Toying. One of her favorite tricks is to present to me something new. Usually, this something is particularly wonderful, or has the potential to be so. Life dangles this new wonderful in front of me just long enough for me to get a taste of how fantastic it really is. Then (and here's the fun part) she drops down a sign next to this new bait informing me that I can't actually have this as part of my life. I don't know why she does this, but it happens on a fairly regular basis. And by regular basis, I mean I thought of it this morning and decided to write about it. It may or may not be regular. It has happened this month though, if that means anything.

First In Your Life

I have just had a truth confirmed to me:

Improving a relationship between two people is most effectively done by building your personal relationship with God. The qualities that develop from this relationship with deity will translate into a more loving, forgiving and serving relationship.

Its the thought that counts

I am not a beautiful an unique snowflake. Heck, I'm not even a snowflake. But what I am is an outdoorsman. I might even say that I am the most important kind of outdoorsman. I will never bag a first ascent of any massive boulder. I won't be the man who summits Everest or McKinely or even Timpanogos. But what I will do is keep the outdoor industry alive.

There are quite a number of us outdoorspeople who couldn't really be considered "hard-core". We don't really focus on any one sport and perfect it. We don't spend all of our time outside (forgive us. we have classes and other hobbies...like D&D?). But we do spend money. Every one of us spends lots of money on what we proudly call our favorite pastimes. They may not occupy the majority of our time, but they do fill the majority of our dreams.

We are the people who spend all winter in the gym and get ecstatic when we finally send an 11c. What? Its only in the gym? And its only a top rope? Big deal. It's a freaking 11c.

We are the people who have Fuji and Giant and Trek bicycles locked away in our garages. These bikes of ours love the summer. After all, its the only time they see the sun. We certainly aren't going to be riding bikes in cold weather. That's just silly.

We are the people with posters of Chris Sharma, Greg Minnaar, Lance Armstrong, and John Muir (he has posters?) hanging on our walls. These are our heroes. We revere them and their dedication to outdoor pursuits. We would never want to be them, but we sure would like to imagine what it would be like.

We are the people who have tents, stoves, camp chairs, water filters, tarps, bike racks, climbing ropes, carburetor cleaner, backpacks, hydration bladders, hiking boots, and all the rest of the plethora of gear one can use outdoors.

Its not that we don't want to spend more time outside. Its just that in addition to climbing or biking, we have other things to value. We value higher education. We value family. We value a well rounded existence. So we spend what time we can engaged in the outdoor pastimes we so deeply enjoy. And we have fallen into a sort of symbiotic relationship with the more dedicated pursuers of our passions. We watch videos of nine-fingered Tommy Caldwell sending the most absurd lines on El Cap. Or we watch Tyler Klassen bomb down mountains with seeming disregard for gravity. And these movies makes us happy. They fill us with anticipation for our next adventure. Admittedly, my "El Cap" is called Black Rose. But still...I am willing to pay money to support the professionals so that they can live the life I can't justify living.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though we will never be that good at whatever it is we're doing, that's okay. Its okay to climb your entire life and never even look at a 12c. Its okay to never bike of anything higher than 18 inches. Its okay because we still love it. We get the same excitement on our 10c ascent that pros get on their 14d. And you know what the best part is? Anyone, at any skill level, can get excited when someone breaks a new personal record. I get just as excited for Sharma to bag another 15b as he would get to help me climb a 11a. If you ask me, this is the real reason we love these sports. Sure, its great to be outside, pushing our bodies to their respective limits. But what really makes it so wonderful is the community. Everyone rooting for everyone else. So lets try to remember, next time a spraylord is regaling you with tales of his many FA's, that most of us are really cool. Most of us don't care how good you are, as long as you are pushing youself. And that's what makes us awesome.

Water

I deeply love the feeling of taking a huge drink of water and feeling the cool liquid send a wave of refreshment through my body.

Let us All be Creators!

I think inside of everyone
Is a poem waiting patiently.
It may not be a work of art,
But it should express sufficiently
The thoughts and feelings of the one
Who wrote the bloody thing.

In fact, it may not be a poem,
But rather it could be a film.
Perhaps the one in question here
Loves cooking clay inside a kiln.
And from the fire beauty comes;
It is beautiful to him.

The message that I'd like to share
Through these quickly written words,
Is a message of encouraging
To those with inclinations towards
Creating things where nothing was,
But maybe think they're bored.

Get up! Get doing! Get it done!
I say you ought at least to try.
Though you may not have a gift,
You've probably got more than I.
And if you haven't, nothing lost,
Just go ahead and lie.

We'll all pretend it went okay
And you're a great artist.
The benefit's not in the art
(I think you get the gist.)
It's in the time you spent to try,
The time you haven't missed.

Waiting Nonethe

I would like to restate the old adage that good things come to those who wait. It may not be what you were waiting for, but I should be pretty good, nonetheless.

So Clearly Muddled

There are choices in life that make you happy and choices that don't. We all know this. We all wonder why we can't make more of the happy ones. I think I have found the answer. Its because nobody wants to sacrifice. Making the right choice, the one that will make us happy, always involves some sort of sacrifice. Perhaps you don't see it, but you always give something up when you make a choice. When you choose to go to bed early, you are sacrificing all that happens late at night. When you choose not to drink, you are sacrificing the experience of being drunk. You get the idea....

Many people find themselves at a point in life that they don't like, and they have no idea how they got there. Sometimes, these people turn everything around and become happy people. But, as we all know, more often than not they turn to the easy path. Some sacrifices are easier than others. In some cases, all it takes to make the sacrifice is to do nothing. This path of choice is called the easy road. It is easy to take no action. But this will never bring happiness.

There is no way to discuss this without bringing religion into it. If a person is trying to improve, he or she must make sacrifices of action. He cannot choose inaction and expect to see results. And in order to take action one must choose to sacrifice a negative aspect of his life and replace it with something better. In my own life, I had to choose to give up metal. I sacrificed all the perceived happiness I got from metal for the sake of a better life. I say perceived happiness because it is just that: perceived. It is not a true happiness, but a substitute. Now, you may be inclined to argue with me. I do not want to argue. I would simply ask you to look honestly into your heart and tell me if this behavior, be it metal or marijuana, actually brings you happiness. More often than not it is simply a distraction. A distraction from life and the things about it that displease you. It seems like happiness because it keeps you from focusing on the negative of your life, but it fades quickly, leaving you where you began.

But all this ranting gets no one anywhere good. All it does is start arguments. Instead, let me pose a question: What can I do, to help people see this? What can I do to help people make sacrifices? That's really the question I am asking with all this psycho-babble. How can I make a difference? Honestly, I don't know. The best I can figure is to just continue to love, regardless of people's choices.

In The Eye Of The Beholder

We look at life through lenses. Each lens is crafted of certain beliefs, ideas, experiences....they can be formed from anything. For many years of my life I used the lens of cynicism. Looking at life through this lens, I found myself becoming hateful and aggressive. Luckily I realized that wasn't the best way to go through life, so I changed to the lens of Taoism. Accepting things as they came, and experiencing life without fighting it, I certainly did not find myself so hateful. Neither did I find myself completely fulfilled. So, for a while I tried the lens of realism. Its a lot like the cynical lens, but without all the pessimism.

I am going to stop rambling now and get to my point. I realized the other day why I see people differently than many of my friends. I have found that when I look at people, or when I think about them, I imagine them not so much as they are, but as they would be if they were totally committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not deluding myself into thinking these people are different than reality. I am simply trying very hard to see their potential. To see their best qualities, rather than noticing the negative. Seeing people in this light, or looking through this lens, it becomes very easy to love people. Forgiveness comes easier. Kindness is instinctive. Criticism is more sincere and less hurtful. Now, I don't mean to say that I am a perfect person, or that this is how I always see people. Or course not. I am imperfect. But more and more I find my efforts to reach perfection encourage this view more and more frequently. And I find it improves my life.

Following the Leader

Hmmmnnmmm.....So, I was tagged in one of those notes where you are supposed to write one of your own if you were tagged, and then tag other people. I usually ignore those, except that this one wasn't dull and stupid like so many of them are. So, I am going to let my mind wander and see what comes out. (Disclaimer: I have to edit my thoughts, or else I get myself into some pretty sticky situations. So, this won't be pure free-flow writing.)

100 things I like, Or, Gibberish from my Grey Matter:

Rock climbing, the pain in my shoulder that I know is from pushing my body too hard, waking up before 8 in the morning, going to bed before 11 at night, my little army of medieval knights, orange juice (I think I have a problem), the twice a year successful date, the early stages of infatuation before I decide I am infatuated, being prepared for my classes, anything Ramen based, Jason Burr, Abbie Burr, friends who make an effort, not being the only person who ever tries to maintain friendships, Collective Soul, the wire guitar on my desk from Kara, not wearing pants (not wearing pants now!!), realizing I don't need to eat sugar to stay alive, good photography, people who follow through on anything (this almost never happens), performing live music, writing music, singing or playing music with other people even if they aren't any good, pretending that some day I'll actually get married, babies and children, adding the word uterus to any sentence just to make it funnier, Cream of Wheat with brown sugar in it, orange juice, leaving my blood on the slab, having the cojones to ride my bike over the nasty bits of the trail, skinny dipping or just being naked outdoors.......that should be pretty good. Enjoy that. I sort of enjoyed writing it.

The Purest Moment

There is a purity of feeling and emotion that you can only get through unfettered creation. Nobody is looking or listening. Nobody is judging. Only you and your expression exist. You focus totally in your moment and you feel something in your center build and build and suddenly it reaches a critical point where it becomes simply a conduit. A conduit that channels all your feeling and emotion from the deepest parts of your being through your very center and out into your art. Your voice becomes pure emotion. Your fingers pure expression. Your body becomes your feeling. And then you glance up to see if anyone is watching and the moment is gone. The moment that was purest creation has fled and you are left with the still glowing remnants of that emotional conduit still burning in your center. You feel slightly deflated and empty, but completely fulfilled. Whether it lasted ten seconds or six hours, this moment of pure feeling has changed you. These are the moments that bring us closer to our self. These moments are gifts. These moments are divine.

The Humanity of Humans

First of all, let me admit something. I feel a little cheap sometimes that I often only have deep thoughts after being assigned some reading for school. But props to the teachers for giving good readings.

Now, let me begin with a story:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away, the Republic was recovering from a war they almost lost with the Mandalorians. Taking advantage of its weakened state the Sith empire attacked the republic with a brutal attack on the planet Telos. The attack all but disintegrated the planet, leaving what was once a lush and green world no more than a barren, uninhabited rock. The ensuing war ended with the Sith being pushed back for a time, but not many years later they returned. Upon returning to known space, the Sith arrived at the planet Katarr, where they completely annihilated all living things on the planet. The Sith were again defeated. Two thousand years later the Sith returned again and demolished the planet of Alderran.

You all know who the Sith are. They are Star Wars representation of ultimate evil. They symbolize all that we despise in the world. Let me relate to you another story:

When the Spaniards arrived in the Americas, they brought the American heathens to the knowledge of God. In fact, the Spanish soldiers were commanded by God to conquer and convert the masses of ignorant Indians to the enlightened gospel. Allow me to recount briefly one encounter that typifies the interactions between the Spanish and the Incas, indeed between the Spanish and all peoples of the Americas

Upon arriving in Peru, Francisco Pizzaro and his 168 men received word from the Incan emperor Atahuallpa that he was prepared to receive them in the city of Cajamarca. Pizarro took his men and set up camp in the central square of Cajamarca and prepared to meet with the emperor. Atahuallpa had come to Cajamarca with over 80,000 men. Pizarro had only 62 cavalry and 106 footmen. In the morning the Spanish friar went to meet with Atahuallpa. When the meeting didn't go according to his desire, the Friar absolved the Spanish of all sin and ordered the men to attack. The 168 Spanish, with their superior weaponry, killed well over 7,000 of the Incas that day and captured their emperor. When offered an unimaginably large ransom to return him they agreed, and upon receiving 3,000 cubic feet of gold, renegged and killed Atahuallpa. This was followed by an invasion of the Incas which resulted in the slaughter of thousands upon thousands of Incan peoples. The Spanish invasion of the Aztecs in Mexico was almost identical to the invasion of Peruvian Incas.

In 1835 the Moriori people ended with the arrival of a single Maori ship. The Maori, armed with guns, swords, axes and bows, walked through Moriori villages proclaiming that the Moriori were now Maori slaves. The Moriori were a peaceful people who resolved conflict through compromise and diplomacy. While the Moriori counseled, the Maori slaughtered their people with wanton disregard for the lives of the Moriori. They did this because it was their custom.

As humans love archetypes. We tell stories of Hercules, a hero of godly strength and power. We tell of Robin Hood, a man who took from the haves and gave to the have-nots. We revile Emperor Palpatine, hating his disregard for human life. We look down on Saruman for his completely self-satisfying sacrifice of others for his own gain. And yet, as we look back on human history, it is almost as though we are modeling these evil empires after ourselves. Almost in a Freudian manifestation of guilt and self-loathing we create easy to hate characters modeled after the things we hate about ourselves. But putting that possibility aside, if humans are essentially the evil Sith empire, don't we have a responsibility? In the stories, we put forth our heroes, propelled by un-stoppable destinies, who single-handedly bring down the evil villain. Luke Skywalker stood up to the Sith empire. He held onto what we believe to be good, honest values and fought to protect the weak. Don't we share that duty? As individuals who have observed the evil that can be wrought by our species, shouldn't we do our part to strive to stop it? I don't expect anyone to jump into an epic light-saber battle with world leaders, but there are things we can do. There are organizations all over the world of people who have already taken the initiative to help the weak. And if we don't care to volunteer our time building schools in Haiti, we can still effect our world. If we as people take it upon ourselves to stand for good in the world around us, our collective individual influences will bring about change at the highest levels of society. Our choice to serve in our own sphere of influence will have an effect on those making decisions on a global scale.

So let us commit to changing the world. It may not be in a high profile service mission to Africa. It may only be that you choose to give a pan-handler a dollar. It may be that you volunteer to help poor children learn to read. Whatever it is you can do, it makes a difference. Please remember to keep love in your heart and don't be afraid to share it.

Marriage

Because I am single and wish to be otherwise, I think often about marriage. I think about whether or not I am properly preparing myself. I think about what I need to do to get myself into one. I think about the people I know who have succeeded or failed before me. And none of this thinking leads to any sort of conclusion. I am left only with questions and musings. in this wondering, I came across a quote from the venerable Don Baxter, "This generation has lost its faith in marriage." With a fair measure of certainty, I can attribute those words to Don, but what on earth can he mean by that? Perhaps, with all the degradation of marriage that has happened in recent history, young people of about my age (yes, I still get to consider myself young) no longer believe as a demographic group that they can actually end up happily married. I know that, personally, when I try to imagine myself in that most blissfully difficult of relationships, I can never really and truly believe it is possible. I like think it might be...but I don't know whether I believe myself.

Now, in our modern American society we are very focused on the individual. And these thoughts of mine certainly are personal. But let us consider the whole of society for a moment. How is marriage as an institution thought of today? I believe that, as a country founded by christians, some of those protestant and catholic beliefs are still present and cause happy marriage to be viewed as desirable. But at the same time, I feel that the importance of marriage is being put aside. Yes, its nice, but its not that important. For 2009, the government reported 7.1 marriages for every 1000 people. Immediately following this statistic were a reported 3.5 divorces for every 1000 people. That rate is higher than half. This does not indicate a serious view of marriage. Is this changing marital attitude a factor in my own dilemma? Are my views a skewed blending of LDS ideals and societal attitudes? As I said in the beginning, I am only ever left with questions when thinking about this. But perhaps merely thinking about it will someday bring about a solution.





References: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

Praise Me

I have decided I should tell you why I am a good person. I am a good person because I am so self-sacrificing. Now wait, don't start laughing derisively until I explain myself.

I am the kind of person who doesn't do things just because I want them. If someone asks me if they should buy something that I really would love to use, I don't just tell them to buy it. I give them actual good advice. (I had a second example, but it was kind of self serving, so I am leaving it out.)