Frosted, Corn, and Wheaties

Let us mull over the thoughts in my head.

I have been thinking lately about people's intentions. To be specific, I am thinking about how a person's actions speak volumes about them. All too often these actions do not agree with the words of the individual. People often say they care about someone while at the same time falling through on commitments with said person. I am not talking about backing out of a marriage proposal. I am speaking of verbal agreements, more commonly called invitations, that are extended and accepted by people every day. But, it has been my experience that people are more than willing to accept an invitation without ever actually following through. Or, similarly, they will say something along the lines of, "Let's get lunch sometime!" and then promptly forget the whole idea.

Now, I am not whining here. I already whined at my sister about the whole thing. What I want to do here is muse about the potential for understanding the people described above (we will call them Flakes) and their motivations below the conscious level.

I have a theory in life that you can tell what a person actually cares about by looking at what they make time for. People who love to knit will knit, no matter how busy they get. People who love to cook will cook. Similarly, if a Sandy cares about Ted, she will say, "Let's get lunch!" and then she will make time for lunch with him. When Richmond says to Taylor, "I'll call you after work and we can go thrift shopping," and then never calls, we can assume that he didn't actually care.

And, as with most of life, there is a continuum. The more frequently someone falls through on plans, the higher the probability that they are a Flake. And the less likely they care about you. Although, I take issue with myself here. I know a lot of Flakes. And were you to ask most of them, they would tell you that they care. They care about me, and they care about everyone else, and they feel bad about all the events that have helped them achieve the title "Flake". And these people confuse me. These people fall in a grey spot in my continuum. Sometimes they make time for me, sometimes not. How should these people be classified? Are they Flakes? Do they care? I don't know what to do with them.

To end these musings, I have a question: Is this a cause-effect relationship? A people Flakes because they don't care? And can you, by forcing yourself to follow through, cause yourself to care? It is thoughts like these that keep me up at night. Let me know what you think.