Occasionally, life presents you with something rather desirable. Sometimes, life, the middle-aged meddler, will present you with something else at the same time that is perhaps more desirable, though less obtainable. (Oh! I love the Pumpkins. 1979, sing to me) The problem with this scenario is that usually we have to choose one or the other. An example would be, "Do you want to very probably go to Mexico, or maybe go to Spain?" See what I mean? One is easier to get, but not as cool. The other, rarer and cooler. And that is enough background for today's question:
How often do we pass up something good in hopes of something better?
Considering my current position in life it is not surprising that I would apply this line of thinking to marriage and its affiliates. There are many wonderful women in the world. Occasionally, they deign to date us mediocre men. Most relationships fail, either by choice or simply due to their explosive nature. Either way, most relationships end before the babies start happening. And I feel like some of these endings can be traced back to one or the other passing up the "something good" that they have in hand to hopefully be available for "something better" they hope is at the next stop. Why? Trace this back to another closely held belief of mine.
People could benefit from being wherever they are. All too often I have seen friends focus on changes just over the horizon as the beginning of their happiness. What they never realize is that no matter how far you move, the horizon is always in front of you. You will never actually reach it, and therefore will never reach your happiness. The happiest people are those who learn to enjoy their current place in life. Tying this back in to the above thoughts, there would be many happy marriages if people could simply see the beautiful that they have. Please see this as very different that settling. People who settle still wish for what's over the horizon. People who learn to be happy are truly happy with what they have, because all they see is the good.
And, as often, I would like to follow up my thoughts with a call to action. Let us all learn to be where we are. Let us learn to be with whoever we are with. Let us choose to be happy.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
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Dan, this was awesome. Living in the now was something that I used to be really, and I mean REALLY bad, and something that can still be improved on.
ReplyDeleteOk, still not sure why this is being posted as Overheard instead of as me.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...half of me really really agrees with this post, and yet the other half doesn't. I think a healthy balance of contentment and hunger is necessary for a good life. If a person in simply content exactly where they are then they will stagnate. The person who is always looking at the horizon may never finally settle down, but they certainly did cover a lot of ground. Hence, with the spouse, there is again a mixture. On the one hand, you don't want to be like my friend, searching forever for the non-existent Mary Poppins of perfection. But I think there is also validity in searching for someone who will make your happiness easier than most of the others. Yes, you can be happy with almost anyone, if you put your mind to it. But some people take less work to be happy with than others.
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