Hmmmnnmmm.....So, I was tagged in one of those notes where you are supposed to write one of your own if you were tagged, and then tag other people. I usually ignore those, except that this one wasn't dull and stupid like so many of them are. So, I am going to let my mind wander and see what comes out. (Disclaimer: I have to edit my thoughts, or else I get myself into some pretty sticky situations. So, this won't be pure free-flow writing.)
100 things I like, Or, Gibberish from my Grey Matter:
Rock climbing, the pain in my shoulder that I know is from pushing my body too hard, waking up before 8 in the morning, going to bed before 11 at night, my little army of medieval knights, orange juice (I think I have a problem), the twice a year successful date, the early stages of infatuation before I decide I am infatuated, being prepared for my classes, anything Ramen based, Jason Burr, Abbie Burr, friends who make an effort, not being the only person who ever tries to maintain friendships, Collective Soul, the wire guitar on my desk from Kara, not wearing pants (not wearing pants now!!), realizing I don't need to eat sugar to stay alive, good photography, people who follow through on anything (this almost never happens), performing live music, writing music, singing or playing music with other people even if they aren't any good, pretending that some day I'll actually get married, babies and children, adding the word uterus to any sentence just to make it funnier, Cream of Wheat with brown sugar in it, orange juice, leaving my blood on the slab, having the cojones to ride my bike over the nasty bits of the trail, skinny dipping or just being naked outdoors.......that should be pretty good. Enjoy that. I sort of enjoyed writing it.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Purest Moment
There is a purity of feeling and emotion that you can only get through unfettered creation. Nobody is looking or listening. Nobody is judging. Only you and your expression exist. You focus totally in your moment and you feel something in your center build and build and suddenly it reaches a critical point where it becomes simply a conduit. A conduit that channels all your feeling and emotion from the deepest parts of your being through your very center and out into your art. Your voice becomes pure emotion. Your fingers pure expression. Your body becomes your feeling. And then you glance up to see if anyone is watching and the moment is gone. The moment that was purest creation has fled and you are left with the still glowing remnants of that emotional conduit still burning in your center. You feel slightly deflated and empty, but completely fulfilled. Whether it lasted ten seconds or six hours, this moment of pure feeling has changed you. These are the moments that bring us closer to our self. These moments are gifts. These moments are divine.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Humanity of Humans
First of all, let me admit something. I feel a little cheap sometimes that I often only have deep thoughts after being assigned some reading for school. But props to the teachers for giving good readings.
Now, let me begin with a story:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away, the Republic was recovering from a war they almost lost with the Mandalorians. Taking advantage of its weakened state the Sith empire attacked the republic with a brutal attack on the planet Telos. The attack all but disintegrated the planet, leaving what was once a lush and green world no more than a barren, uninhabited rock. The ensuing war ended with the Sith being pushed back for a time, but not many years later they returned. Upon returning to known space, the Sith arrived at the planet Katarr, where they completely annihilated all living things on the planet. The Sith were again defeated. Two thousand years later the Sith returned again and demolished the planet of Alderran.
You all know who the Sith are. They are Star Wars representation of ultimate evil. They symbolize all that we despise in the world. Let me relate to you another story:
When the Spaniards arrived in the Americas, they brought the American heathens to the knowledge of God. In fact, the Spanish soldiers were commanded by God to conquer and convert the masses of ignorant Indians to the enlightened gospel. Allow me to recount briefly one encounter that typifies the interactions between the Spanish and the Incas, indeed between the Spanish and all peoples of the Americas
Upon arriving in Peru, Francisco Pizzaro and his 168 men received word from the Incan emperor Atahuallpa that he was prepared to receive them in the city of Cajamarca. Pizarro took his men and set up camp in the central square of Cajamarca and prepared to meet with the emperor. Atahuallpa had come to Cajamarca with over 80,000 men. Pizarro had only 62 cavalry and 106 footmen. In the morning the Spanish friar went to meet with Atahuallpa. When the meeting didn't go according to his desire, the Friar absolved the Spanish of all sin and ordered the men to attack. The 168 Spanish, with their superior weaponry, killed well over 7,000 of the Incas that day and captured their emperor. When offered an unimaginably large ransom to return him they agreed, and upon receiving 3,000 cubic feet of gold, renegged and killed Atahuallpa. This was followed by an invasion of the Incas which resulted in the slaughter of thousands upon thousands of Incan peoples. The Spanish invasion of the Aztecs in Mexico was almost identical to the invasion of Peruvian Incas.
In 1835 the Moriori people ended with the arrival of a single Maori ship. The Maori, armed with guns, swords, axes and bows, walked through Moriori villages proclaiming that the Moriori were now Maori slaves. The Moriori were a peaceful people who resolved conflict through compromise and diplomacy. While the Moriori counseled, the Maori slaughtered their people with wanton disregard for the lives of the Moriori. They did this because it was their custom.
As humans love archetypes. We tell stories of Hercules, a hero of godly strength and power. We tell of Robin Hood, a man who took from the haves and gave to the have-nots. We revile Emperor Palpatine, hating his disregard for human life. We look down on Saruman for his completely self-satisfying sacrifice of others for his own gain. And yet, as we look back on human history, it is almost as though we are modeling these evil empires after ourselves. Almost in a Freudian manifestation of guilt and self-loathing we create easy to hate characters modeled after the things we hate about ourselves. But putting that possibility aside, if humans are essentially the evil Sith empire, don't we have a responsibility? In the stories, we put forth our heroes, propelled by un-stoppable destinies, who single-handedly bring down the evil villain. Luke Skywalker stood up to the Sith empire. He held onto what we believe to be good, honest values and fought to protect the weak. Don't we share that duty? As individuals who have observed the evil that can be wrought by our species, shouldn't we do our part to strive to stop it? I don't expect anyone to jump into an epic light-saber battle with world leaders, but there are things we can do. There are organizations all over the world of people who have already taken the initiative to help the weak. And if we don't care to volunteer our time building schools in Haiti, we can still effect our world. If we as people take it upon ourselves to stand for good in the world around us, our collective individual influences will bring about change at the highest levels of society. Our choice to serve in our own sphere of influence will have an effect on those making decisions on a global scale.
So let us commit to changing the world. It may not be in a high profile service mission to Africa. It may only be that you choose to give a pan-handler a dollar. It may be that you volunteer to help poor children learn to read. Whatever it is you can do, it makes a difference. Please remember to keep love in your heart and don't be afraid to share it.
Now, let me begin with a story:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far,far away, the Republic was recovering from a war they almost lost with the Mandalorians. Taking advantage of its weakened state the Sith empire attacked the republic with a brutal attack on the planet Telos. The attack all but disintegrated the planet, leaving what was once a lush and green world no more than a barren, uninhabited rock. The ensuing war ended with the Sith being pushed back for a time, but not many years later they returned. Upon returning to known space, the Sith arrived at the planet Katarr, where they completely annihilated all living things on the planet. The Sith were again defeated. Two thousand years later the Sith returned again and demolished the planet of Alderran.
You all know who the Sith are. They are Star Wars representation of ultimate evil. They symbolize all that we despise in the world. Let me relate to you another story:
When the Spaniards arrived in the Americas, they brought the American heathens to the knowledge of God. In fact, the Spanish soldiers were commanded by God to conquer and convert the masses of ignorant Indians to the enlightened gospel. Allow me to recount briefly one encounter that typifies the interactions between the Spanish and the Incas, indeed between the Spanish and all peoples of the Americas
Upon arriving in Peru, Francisco Pizzaro and his 168 men received word from the Incan emperor Atahuallpa that he was prepared to receive them in the city of Cajamarca. Pizarro took his men and set up camp in the central square of Cajamarca and prepared to meet with the emperor. Atahuallpa had come to Cajamarca with over 80,000 men. Pizarro had only 62 cavalry and 106 footmen. In the morning the Spanish friar went to meet with Atahuallpa. When the meeting didn't go according to his desire, the Friar absolved the Spanish of all sin and ordered the men to attack. The 168 Spanish, with their superior weaponry, killed well over 7,000 of the Incas that day and captured their emperor. When offered an unimaginably large ransom to return him they agreed, and upon receiving 3,000 cubic feet of gold, renegged and killed Atahuallpa. This was followed by an invasion of the Incas which resulted in the slaughter of thousands upon thousands of Incan peoples. The Spanish invasion of the Aztecs in Mexico was almost identical to the invasion of Peruvian Incas.
In 1835 the Moriori people ended with the arrival of a single Maori ship. The Maori, armed with guns, swords, axes and bows, walked through Moriori villages proclaiming that the Moriori were now Maori slaves. The Moriori were a peaceful people who resolved conflict through compromise and diplomacy. While the Moriori counseled, the Maori slaughtered their people with wanton disregard for the lives of the Moriori. They did this because it was their custom.
As humans love archetypes. We tell stories of Hercules, a hero of godly strength and power. We tell of Robin Hood, a man who took from the haves and gave to the have-nots. We revile Emperor Palpatine, hating his disregard for human life. We look down on Saruman for his completely self-satisfying sacrifice of others for his own gain. And yet, as we look back on human history, it is almost as though we are modeling these evil empires after ourselves. Almost in a Freudian manifestation of guilt and self-loathing we create easy to hate characters modeled after the things we hate about ourselves. But putting that possibility aside, if humans are essentially the evil Sith empire, don't we have a responsibility? In the stories, we put forth our heroes, propelled by un-stoppable destinies, who single-handedly bring down the evil villain. Luke Skywalker stood up to the Sith empire. He held onto what we believe to be good, honest values and fought to protect the weak. Don't we share that duty? As individuals who have observed the evil that can be wrought by our species, shouldn't we do our part to strive to stop it? I don't expect anyone to jump into an epic light-saber battle with world leaders, but there are things we can do. There are organizations all over the world of people who have already taken the initiative to help the weak. And if we don't care to volunteer our time building schools in Haiti, we can still effect our world. If we as people take it upon ourselves to stand for good in the world around us, our collective individual influences will bring about change at the highest levels of society. Our choice to serve in our own sphere of influence will have an effect on those making decisions on a global scale.
So let us commit to changing the world. It may not be in a high profile service mission to Africa. It may only be that you choose to give a pan-handler a dollar. It may be that you volunteer to help poor children learn to read. Whatever it is you can do, it makes a difference. Please remember to keep love in your heart and don't be afraid to share it.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Marriage
Because I am single and wish to be otherwise, I think often about marriage. I think about whether or not I am properly preparing myself. I think about what I need to do to get myself into one. I think about the people I know who have succeeded or failed before me. And none of this thinking leads to any sort of conclusion. I am left only with questions and musings. in this wondering, I came across a quote from the venerable Don Baxter, "This generation has lost its faith in marriage." With a fair measure of certainty, I can attribute those words to Don, but what on earth can he mean by that? Perhaps, with all the degradation of marriage that has happened in recent history, young people of about my age (yes, I still get to consider myself young) no longer believe as a demographic group that they can actually end up happily married. I know that, personally, when I try to imagine myself in that most blissfully difficult of relationships, I can never really and truly believe it is possible. I like think it might be...but I don't know whether I believe myself.
Now, in our modern American society we are very focused on the individual. And these thoughts of mine certainly are personal. But let us consider the whole of society for a moment. How is marriage as an institution thought of today? I believe that, as a country founded by christians, some of those protestant and catholic beliefs are still present and cause happy marriage to be viewed as desirable. But at the same time, I feel that the importance of marriage is being put aside. Yes, its nice, but its not that important. For 2009, the government reported 7.1 marriages for every 1000 people. Immediately following this statistic were a reported 3.5 divorces for every 1000 people. That rate is higher than half. This does not indicate a serious view of marriage. Is this changing marital attitude a factor in my own dilemma? Are my views a skewed blending of LDS ideals and societal attitudes? As I said in the beginning, I am only ever left with questions when thinking about this. But perhaps merely thinking about it will someday bring about a solution.
References: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm
Now, in our modern American society we are very focused on the individual. And these thoughts of mine certainly are personal. But let us consider the whole of society for a moment. How is marriage as an institution thought of today? I believe that, as a country founded by christians, some of those protestant and catholic beliefs are still present and cause happy marriage to be viewed as desirable. But at the same time, I feel that the importance of marriage is being put aside. Yes, its nice, but its not that important. For 2009, the government reported 7.1 marriages for every 1000 people. Immediately following this statistic were a reported 3.5 divorces for every 1000 people. That rate is higher than half. This does not indicate a serious view of marriage. Is this changing marital attitude a factor in my own dilemma? Are my views a skewed blending of LDS ideals and societal attitudes? As I said in the beginning, I am only ever left with questions when thinking about this. But perhaps merely thinking about it will someday bring about a solution.
References: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm
Friday, January 1, 2010
Praise Me
I have decided I should tell you why I am a good person. I am a good person because I am so self-sacrificing. Now wait, don't start laughing derisively until I explain myself.
I am the kind of person who doesn't do things just because I want them. If someone asks me if they should buy something that I really would love to use, I don't just tell them to buy it. I give them actual good advice. (I had a second example, but it was kind of self serving, so I am leaving it out.)
I am the kind of person who doesn't do things just because I want them. If someone asks me if they should buy something that I really would love to use, I don't just tell them to buy it. I give them actual good advice. (I had a second example, but it was kind of self serving, so I am leaving it out.)
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