Infatuation: a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration; puppy love: temporary love of an adolescent; an object of extravagant short-lived passion.
Some infatuations last longer than others. Some last a week, others last long enough to lead to a foolhardy and short lived marriage. And yet, all too often we confuse this infatuation with love. I myself have been guilty of it. In fact, recently, while talking to my friend Brooklyn, we were discussing a girl I know and why I haven't asked her out. I said it was because even though she's perfect for me, I wasn't attracted to her. This is untrue. I realized later that I was saying I'm not infatuated with her. Relationships that begin from and are fueled by infatuation are often based heavily on physical attraction and urges, and rarely lead to deep and meaningful relationships. The relationships that last are those based around actual friendship. If you enjoy the company of another person and you like their personality, that is a foundation upon which you can build true love. It may not have the same giddy excitement of an infatuated fling, but it is more rewarding. So, when you're looking for someone to be with, don't look for someone who fills you with giddy excitement. Rather, look for that friend whose company you consistently enjoy.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Equine Wisdom
Excuse me, my good sir, but would you like to go riding today?
--Why certainly. I have let far too much time pass since I have enjoyed equestrian pursuits.
Very good. Shall I come around 8 then?
--Yes, yes. Jolly good.
(some hours later....)
--I'll be dashed if this isn't the most pleasant thing I've done all summer. Wait, I think I'll say all year. Yes, this is the most pleasant thing I've done all year. I must thank you for inviting me.
Oh, it nothing. My pleasure. I do find the brisk...Look Out!!
--Oh, I say!!
Oy, chap. Are you all right?
--Yes, yes. It wasn't a long fall. All this mud makes it look much worse.
Very good. Will you be able to ride back to the manor?
--Certainly. And if you retrieve my horse, we can enjoy a bit more of the evening before we return.
You mean you wish to continue?
--Of course. A simple fall won't keep me from riding. I'll just pay more attention in the future.
Hear, hear! Good spirit, lad! I'll fetch your mount.
--And I'll try to remove a bit of this mud.
--Why certainly. I have let far too much time pass since I have enjoyed equestrian pursuits.
Very good. Shall I come around 8 then?
--Yes, yes. Jolly good.
(some hours later....)
--I'll be dashed if this isn't the most pleasant thing I've done all summer. Wait, I think I'll say all year. Yes, this is the most pleasant thing I've done all year. I must thank you for inviting me.
Oh, it nothing. My pleasure. I do find the brisk...Look Out!!
--Oh, I say!!
Oy, chap. Are you all right?
--Yes, yes. It wasn't a long fall. All this mud makes it look much worse.
Very good. Will you be able to ride back to the manor?
--Certainly. And if you retrieve my horse, we can enjoy a bit more of the evening before we return.
You mean you wish to continue?
--Of course. A simple fall won't keep me from riding. I'll just pay more attention in the future.
Hear, hear! Good spirit, lad! I'll fetch your mount.
--And I'll try to remove a bit of this mud.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
New Motto
Never get your hopes up.
It sounds so negative, doesn't it? Well, I don't mean it that way. I just mean don't get your hopes up. Don't get so worked up wishing for something that when it doesn't happen you get all sad and depressed. I can't count how many times I have been made sad because I got excited about something that, logically, I knew would never happen. So, because of this, I say never get your hopes up.
And here is where I run into a conundrum.
I don't mean to say never try for anything, but how do you try for anything and not get your hopes up? How do you simultaneously maintain both apathy and optimism? You can't. They are like faith and fear: they can't exist in the same place. Well...that is unfortunate. How can I keep from being made sad now?
You can't. Its part of life. We hope for things. We try for things. We fail at most, succeed at some. We hurt. We move on. And the moving on is what matters. It's what sets the happy people apart from the unhappy. Those who can't seem to find happiness have indulged in apathy and dwelling on their failures. Its a fact of life that we fail more often than not. But happiness isn't found by dwelling on the mistakes. If we can learn to look forward and keep on trying, we will find our spirits inexplicably lifted.
So, I guess my new motto will be "Keep your hopes up." Even though I know it won't always end up the way I hope, at least my journey through life will be more pleasant overall. And hope is a key factor that keeps it that way. So, keep your hopes up. Whatever your circumstances, keep your chin up and realize that one day, it will all work out like you're hoping.
It sounds so negative, doesn't it? Well, I don't mean it that way. I just mean don't get your hopes up. Don't get so worked up wishing for something that when it doesn't happen you get all sad and depressed. I can't count how many times I have been made sad because I got excited about something that, logically, I knew would never happen. So, because of this, I say never get your hopes up.
And here is where I run into a conundrum.
I don't mean to say never try for anything, but how do you try for anything and not get your hopes up? How do you simultaneously maintain both apathy and optimism? You can't. They are like faith and fear: they can't exist in the same place. Well...that is unfortunate. How can I keep from being made sad now?
You can't. Its part of life. We hope for things. We try for things. We fail at most, succeed at some. We hurt. We move on. And the moving on is what matters. It's what sets the happy people apart from the unhappy. Those who can't seem to find happiness have indulged in apathy and dwelling on their failures. Its a fact of life that we fail more often than not. But happiness isn't found by dwelling on the mistakes. If we can learn to look forward and keep on trying, we will find our spirits inexplicably lifted.
So, I guess my new motto will be "Keep your hopes up." Even though I know it won't always end up the way I hope, at least my journey through life will be more pleasant overall. And hope is a key factor that keeps it that way. So, keep your hopes up. Whatever your circumstances, keep your chin up and realize that one day, it will all work out like you're hoping.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Read Me
Its late, but I have aught to say. We live in a consumer driven society. Basically our entire economy is based around us buying things. We also live in a society that, due to staggering advances in technology, is more productive than any society previous. In fact, if we wanted to compare today with the 70's, it would only take 20 hours today to produce on an equal level with the 70's. And yet, we work more hours now than ever before. In fact, we work more hours than any other country in the world. Why?
For some reason, the 307,869,263 people in the United States have gotten in their minds a mentality of more. We can produce more than ever, quicker than ever. So what do we do? Rather than take time off to be with our families, we work more hours so we can get more money so we can buy more things. And in our pursuit of things we sometimes get carried away. Even though we are making copious amounts of money, we are spending even more. We buy and buy and buy until we reach the end of our income. And when we get there, we turn to credit to give us the means to buy what we still lack until we wind up comfortably spending our last 15 minutes sitting on a fabulous couch in a spacious and beautiful house where we watch a few moments of tv on a gorgeous plasma screen.
I am not ranting about money. It seems that I am, but I am not. I am instead ranting about time. About quality of life. I have been building up to this for quite some time. My own thoughts and ideas have been sliding this way with some regularity for several weeks or months. It began with getting away from video games. I quit playing them entirely for three months, and now I still only play sporadically. I have also given up almost completely on movies (their only remaining purpose: to provide the time and place to cuddle with those who warrant cuddling). And more recently I am working to wean myself of the computer and my cell phone. Why on earth would I do this? Didn't we invent all of these things to make life easier and more enjoyable? Yes. Yes we did. But for some reason we have grown to be almost dependent on them. In my own life, I can see myself turning to these pieces of technology so often that they are taking away from my enjoyment of each moment of life, as well as distracting me from pursuing hobbies I actually enjoy a lot.
I think I can safely say that we all have things we would like to learn or perfect. Whether it be rock climbing, fiction writing, or belly dancing, we all have something we aspire to. If we were to cut our time spent with our things (computer, tv, car, boat, cell phone, etc) we would free up time to engage in these other interests. Now, I'm not saying to sell your belongings and swear a life of poverty. But I am saying that we should quit chasing them. We should quit letting them govern us. We should quit comparing ourselves to the rest of the world because that only leads us to believe our life is less fulfilled unless we have more things.
Personally, I am going to begin to take more enjoyment out of riding my bike to work, or looking at the decor in a room while I wait for someone. I am going to spend more time outside. I am going to leave my things behind and pursue my actual interests. I am going to learn to form my own climbing holds. I am going to learn to play better on my didjeridoo. I am going to dive deep in to my scriptures. I am going to truly appreciate people and make more friends. I am going to live.
For some reason, the 307,869,263 people in the United States have gotten in their minds a mentality of more. We can produce more than ever, quicker than ever. So what do we do? Rather than take time off to be with our families, we work more hours so we can get more money so we can buy more things. And in our pursuit of things we sometimes get carried away. Even though we are making copious amounts of money, we are spending even more. We buy and buy and buy until we reach the end of our income. And when we get there, we turn to credit to give us the means to buy what we still lack until we wind up comfortably spending our last 15 minutes sitting on a fabulous couch in a spacious and beautiful house where we watch a few moments of tv on a gorgeous plasma screen.
I am not ranting about money. It seems that I am, but I am not. I am instead ranting about time. About quality of life. I have been building up to this for quite some time. My own thoughts and ideas have been sliding this way with some regularity for several weeks or months. It began with getting away from video games. I quit playing them entirely for three months, and now I still only play sporadically. I have also given up almost completely on movies (their only remaining purpose: to provide the time and place to cuddle with those who warrant cuddling). And more recently I am working to wean myself of the computer and my cell phone. Why on earth would I do this? Didn't we invent all of these things to make life easier and more enjoyable? Yes. Yes we did. But for some reason we have grown to be almost dependent on them. In my own life, I can see myself turning to these pieces of technology so often that they are taking away from my enjoyment of each moment of life, as well as distracting me from pursuing hobbies I actually enjoy a lot.
I think I can safely say that we all have things we would like to learn or perfect. Whether it be rock climbing, fiction writing, or belly dancing, we all have something we aspire to. If we were to cut our time spent with our things (computer, tv, car, boat, cell phone, etc) we would free up time to engage in these other interests. Now, I'm not saying to sell your belongings and swear a life of poverty. But I am saying that we should quit chasing them. We should quit letting them govern us. We should quit comparing ourselves to the rest of the world because that only leads us to believe our life is less fulfilled unless we have more things.
Personally, I am going to begin to take more enjoyment out of riding my bike to work, or looking at the decor in a room while I wait for someone. I am going to spend more time outside. I am going to leave my things behind and pursue my actual interests. I am going to learn to form my own climbing holds. I am going to learn to play better on my didjeridoo. I am going to dive deep in to my scriptures. I am going to truly appreciate people and make more friends. I am going to live.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Lessons from Liquids
I have spent quite a bit of effort in my life being satisfied with what I have and where I am. As we all know, it is not easy to do. There will always be someone with a better car, a better job, a better hobby. (in all cases, replace better with "better") If we continue to look to others to judge our own success and state of achievement, we will always be found wanting.
I think one of the great struggles of life is learning to be happy. All of us are forever chasing that elusive state of contentment, where we want for nothing, enjoy everything. But so few of us ever seem to get there. What is required by the human spirit to be happy? I think first and foremost happiness requires that our human spirit overcomes our human frame. I speak here of the physical nature being subjected to the control of the mind/spirit. When I say physical nature, I am speaking of all of the base impulses of the human. Those impulses that are sometimes referred to as human nature. The desire to indulge in eating too much, the desire to be superior to another, the desire to live in luxury and exert power over those weaker than you. These are all examples of what I refer to as physical nature. If I were to use a judeo-christian synonym, I would call it carnal nature. I feel like this base greed is a big factor that pushes so many to "succeed" in the traditional American sense of acquiring money and possessions. But it is also what keeps us from being happy, no matter what our state of "success." If we want to be truly happy, we need to exercise the power of our mind. We need to be satisfied with what we have. We need to set reasonable goals and enjoy their achievement.
One element of this power of the mind over the carnal can be learned from water. (Incidentally, it can also be learned from the eastern philosophy of Taoism. But they just got it from water, so I am skipping the middle-man.) If you watch a stream flowing down a mountain, the water moves around or over any obstacles in its path. It doesn't protest them. The stream simply incorporates the rocks and obstacles into the path it must follow. Throw a rock, large or small, into the stream and see how the water reacts. It doesn't throw a fit or start complaining about this new problem. It just accepts the new obstacle and works around it. Simply, quietly, peacefully. If we could just learn to accept our problems and work around them, through them or over them without protest, we would be much happier.
I think one of the great struggles of life is learning to be happy. All of us are forever chasing that elusive state of contentment, where we want for nothing, enjoy everything. But so few of us ever seem to get there. What is required by the human spirit to be happy? I think first and foremost happiness requires that our human spirit overcomes our human frame. I speak here of the physical nature being subjected to the control of the mind/spirit. When I say physical nature, I am speaking of all of the base impulses of the human. Those impulses that are sometimes referred to as human nature. The desire to indulge in eating too much, the desire to be superior to another, the desire to live in luxury and exert power over those weaker than you. These are all examples of what I refer to as physical nature. If I were to use a judeo-christian synonym, I would call it carnal nature. I feel like this base greed is a big factor that pushes so many to "succeed" in the traditional American sense of acquiring money and possessions. But it is also what keeps us from being happy, no matter what our state of "success." If we want to be truly happy, we need to exercise the power of our mind. We need to be satisfied with what we have. We need to set reasonable goals and enjoy their achievement.
One element of this power of the mind over the carnal can be learned from water. (Incidentally, it can also be learned from the eastern philosophy of Taoism. But they just got it from water, so I am skipping the middle-man.) If you watch a stream flowing down a mountain, the water moves around or over any obstacles in its path. It doesn't protest them. The stream simply incorporates the rocks and obstacles into the path it must follow. Throw a rock, large or small, into the stream and see how the water reacts. It doesn't throw a fit or start complaining about this new problem. It just accepts the new obstacle and works around it. Simply, quietly, peacefully. If we could just learn to accept our problems and work around them, through them or over them without protest, we would be much happier.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Excuse me, Can I ask you a question?
Is there any benefit to always making the responsible choice? If I spend the rest of my life always doing what "should" be done, will I be satisfied with myself? Will I regret that I never hitch-hiked around the country? Will I wish that I had splurged on a cruise or a trip to Kalymnos? What is the benefit of living by your whimsy? So you become a better person because you were homeless in Moab? Do you get more out of life because you went skinny dipping during winter? I have so many questions about how we (I) live our lives. I wonder about all the different choices we have and their various consequences. I wonder about this so much that I even question the justifications of buying a climbing rope or a tent. Why buy those things, when there is school to pay for and food to purchase?
Monday, October 19, 2009
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