I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening

It is time once again to tip my brain stew over the table of my blog and see what thoughts spill out.

I like my job. Mostly because I like the guys I work with. They are all really cool dudes. And they are nice to me, and treat me like a cool dude as well, which makes me happy inside. The other day, I was talking to one of them, Chris, and as I listened a thought came to my head. This thought was more of a question. Let me put forth some background first:

There is a difference between hearing a person talk and listening to them. Most people hear. In fact, it takes a real prick to not even hear a person talk. But listening...that is a whole other story. Real listening is more of an activity. It requires the listeners mental focus. The difference is well summarized in the movie Fight Club with the sentence, "they actually listen to you. They don't just wait their turn to talk." When you listen to a person talk, you say to them, "You are important enough for me to actively give you my attention. I care enough about this conversation to engage my mind in the discussion." When a person is being sincerely listened to, they feel the profundity of this compliment. Consciously or not, they can feel it.

Those definitions being proposed, my question is this: Is listening always appropriate? I have previously discussed conversation and established that there are two types. Conversations that matter, and those that are more trivial. It seems obvious to say that simply hearing enough of a trivial conversation to participate normally is sufficient. But, while there are two types of conversation, there is only one kind of person. All people are important. Whether or not I like a person does not change his or her worth. So, some conversations are not of equal value, but shouldn't I always give a person the same respect? Should I devalue the person with an insulting secondary attention focus simply because he or she is speaking trivially?

Here is my opinion. I feel like listening is always appropriate. A person is always important. Even when its is just one of those girls you run into occasionally who can't seem to talk about anything but her dog, she still matters. Listening to her prattle about her dog, or grandchild affirms her worth as a human being. This is always appropriate. Also, in the process of actively listening to a person speak you take in a lot more than simply their words. You perceive all of their non verbal communications. As you apply your mind to all of this information, you come to understand more of the person you are speaking to. And this is of great value to you, as the listener. I maintain, as did Emerson that "every man is in some way my better, and in that, I learn of him." How could we ever want to pass up a chance to learn and grow as a person?

Thus, I will always endeavor to give my full attention to anyone who is speaking to me. I will encourage them to talk, and I will listen. I expect to be much quieter in the future...