Occasionally, life presents you with something rather desirable. Sometimes, life, the middle-aged meddler, will present you with something else at the same time that is perhaps more desirable, though less obtainable. (Oh! I love the Pumpkins. 1979, sing to me) The problem with this scenario is that usually we have to choose one or the other. An example would be, "Do you want to very probably go to Mexico, or maybe go to Spain?" See what I mean? One is easier to get, but not as cool. The other, rarer and cooler. And that is enough background for today's question:
How often do we pass up something good in hopes of something better?
Considering my current position in life it is not surprising that I would apply this line of thinking to marriage and its affiliates. There are many wonderful women in the world. Occasionally, they deign to date us mediocre men. Most relationships fail, either by choice or simply due to their explosive nature. Either way, most relationships end before the babies start happening. And I feel like some of these endings can be traced back to one or the other passing up the "something good" that they have in hand to hopefully be available for "something better" they hope is at the next stop. Why? Trace this back to another closely held belief of mine.
People could benefit from being wherever they are. All too often I have seen friends focus on changes just over the horizon as the beginning of their happiness. What they never realize is that no matter how far you move, the horizon is always in front of you. You will never actually reach it, and therefore will never reach your happiness. The happiest people are those who learn to enjoy their current place in life. Tying this back in to the above thoughts, there would be many happy marriages if people could simply see the beautiful that they have. Please see this as very different that settling. People who settle still wish for what's over the horizon. People who learn to be happy are truly happy with what they have, because all they see is the good.
And, as often, I would like to follow up my thoughts with a call to action. Let us all learn to be where we are. Let us learn to be with whoever we are with. Let us choose to be happy.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Beautiful Adventure
Lately, I have found myself wanting more out of life. I am not happy with climbing three times a week and spending the rest of my time essentially immobile, in one activity or another. Sure, I go on the occasional weekly bike ride. Sure, I go slacklining monthly. But I'm just no happy with the way things are. I have met quite a number of people lately who are well traveled and well experienced. They have lived in Italy, or backpacked through Peru, or lived in a van in Jackson for a year. The more people I meet, the more I am able to identify a pattern: the coolest people I know are the people who have had the most varied experiences.
And this causes me to wonder about my own life. I have had very few experiences. I have been to Alaska for a summer. That pretty much covers it. I don't even make weekend climbing trips. I am in the epicenter of great western climbing trips, and I have made one. That is pathetic. Add to this the fact that I am a recreation major, and you begin to wonder what the bugger is wrong with me. Why am I not experiencing life and the world?
In the past, I always attributed this to the fact that I am just not a traveler. But maybe I was just thinking about it wrong. To me, traveling always just seemed like a waste of time. You go somewhere, you look at stuff, you spend money, you come home. But maybe there is a different way to go about it. Maybe traveling is about absorbing more of the world. Maybe it is about experiencing people and places and using those experiences to grow and improve yourself. And maybe I should try it?
All of these thoughts are brought on by the absolutely incredible people I have met. I look at these people and wonder how they can be so amazing. And I have realized that they all have the same thing in common. They have actually done some really cool things. So, in my quest to improve myself, it would seem that I need to put some really cool things in the queue. Maybe I will go hike the appalachain trail. Maybe I will live in England after I graduate. Maybe I will just start weekly trips to adventure on my weekends. Whatever it is, something has to happen. I have to start experiencing the world that God has created for me.
So, Yes, I would like to go with you to Zion. Yes, I would like to go boating. Yes, I would like to go live in Italy with you. And Yes, you are invited this weekend to go to Goblin Valley.
And this causes me to wonder about my own life. I have had very few experiences. I have been to Alaska for a summer. That pretty much covers it. I don't even make weekend climbing trips. I am in the epicenter of great western climbing trips, and I have made one. That is pathetic. Add to this the fact that I am a recreation major, and you begin to wonder what the bugger is wrong with me. Why am I not experiencing life and the world?
In the past, I always attributed this to the fact that I am just not a traveler. But maybe I was just thinking about it wrong. To me, traveling always just seemed like a waste of time. You go somewhere, you look at stuff, you spend money, you come home. But maybe there is a different way to go about it. Maybe traveling is about absorbing more of the world. Maybe it is about experiencing people and places and using those experiences to grow and improve yourself. And maybe I should try it?
All of these thoughts are brought on by the absolutely incredible people I have met. I look at these people and wonder how they can be so amazing. And I have realized that they all have the same thing in common. They have actually done some really cool things. So, in my quest to improve myself, it would seem that I need to put some really cool things in the queue. Maybe I will go hike the appalachain trail. Maybe I will live in England after I graduate. Maybe I will just start weekly trips to adventure on my weekends. Whatever it is, something has to happen. I have to start experiencing the world that God has created for me.
So, Yes, I would like to go with you to Zion. Yes, I would like to go boating. Yes, I would like to go live in Italy with you. And Yes, you are invited this weekend to go to Goblin Valley.
Friday, July 9, 2010
SufjanWineFrapp
Much of music today is the same. It is remarkably hard to come up with a song that won't cause someone to say, "Hey...that sounds a lot like Martyr Killer." (I made that band up, I think. Although metal-heads everywhere are already forming that band). For example, this guy sounds pretty much exactly like this guy. But I have decided that this is okay. If you like it from one source, why wouldn't you enjoy it from another source?
I have come across music snobs on a fairly regular basis. In fact, most of my life I was a music snob. In fact, the angriest I have ever been was the first time I heard this song. Since that moment I have come to grips with my music snobbery. I have learned to enjoy slow by Kylie Minogue (forgive the video) and also enjoy Golfrapp without feeling like its just a cheap Kylie frap-off. (I am so dang funny).
This whole round of thoughts comes from a couple conversations with my roomie Steven. This week I had the chance to record with The Brocks, a band here in Provo. It was quite a bit of fun, and the band is actually really good. I quite like them. But when I showed Steven, all he could say was, "It sounds like Dr Dog." It irritated me when he said it, although I didn't know why at the time. I now realize why that bugs me. When people are totally focused on what something sounds like, instead of what they are listening to, they are totally disregarding the effort the musicians put into their music. I feel like more concern should be given to listening to a song or artist for their own good qualities. Enjoy what you're listening to, not what you could listen to. That is my rant. Enjoy.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Beauty vs Me
Attractive women have power. You may not agree with me. If you're an attractive woman (you probably don't think you are, even if it's true), you may not agree with me. But it is true. I can attest to that fact. Science has attested to that fact. Just to be sure, I spent the last hour and a half researching the topic in various scientific journals. And the fact exists that beautiful people have it good. And that's okay. Its a fact of life and there's no point in whining about it. What bothers me is that I don't seem to have any control. Even though I am aware of it, and watching for it, and guarding against it, pretty girls almost always get their pretty-treatment from me. Let me cite an example:
Yesterday I went to first day of classes for Summer term at BYU. As is common for this campus, all of my classes contain varying quantities of attractive women. Actually, let me rephrase. Because I attend BYU, nigh all the females in my classes are attractive in varied levels and degrees. And here is where things become irksome. It is a point of pride in my life that I accept people for who they are and treat them as their actions and behaviors warrant, regardless of external factors. No fewer than twice I caught myself giving the more attractive female variants preferential treatment. And that is simply infuriating. Not that I treated them in this manner, rather that I had no power over the differential in their treatment versus the treatment of more garden variety girls.
It's not that I treat attractive girls any better than I treat anyone else. The difference in my behavior is subtle and hard to explain. I just don't like the fact that pretty people are unintentionally coercing the world around them at all times. None of us even stand a chance. The beautiful people will get what they get (usually better than average) whether we want them to or not.
Say what you will about my theory. But I guarantee life treats her (above) better than it treats me (below).
Okay, that is actually a pretty sexy picture. Of me. Anyway....
While most of my posts have some sort of moral or post at the end, this one does not. I simply wanted to point this out. I would also like to point out that BYU has an inordinate amount of beautiful women. I think they out number the uglies about 4-1. Now that I've put this out there, do what you want with it.
Yesterday I went to first day of classes for Summer term at BYU. As is common for this campus, all of my classes contain varying quantities of attractive women. Actually, let me rephrase. Because I attend BYU, nigh all the females in my classes are attractive in varied levels and degrees. And here is where things become irksome. It is a point of pride in my life that I accept people for who they are and treat them as their actions and behaviors warrant, regardless of external factors. No fewer than twice I caught myself giving the more attractive female variants preferential treatment. And that is simply infuriating. Not that I treated them in this manner, rather that I had no power over the differential in their treatment versus the treatment of more garden variety girls.
It's not that I treat attractive girls any better than I treat anyone else. The difference in my behavior is subtle and hard to explain. I just don't like the fact that pretty people are unintentionally coercing the world around them at all times. None of us even stand a chance. The beautiful people will get what they get (usually better than average) whether we want them to or not.
Say what you will about my theory. But I guarantee life treats her (above) better than it treats me (below).
Okay, that is actually a pretty sexy picture. Of me. Anyway....
While most of my posts have some sort of moral or post at the end, this one does not. I simply wanted to point this out. I would also like to point out that BYU has an inordinate amount of beautiful women. I think they out number the uglies about 4-1. Now that I've put this out there, do what you want with it.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Good Pickin
DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG EXISTS FOR ENTERTAINMENT. MOST OF THE POSTS ON THIS BLOG CONTAIN PHILOSOPHICAL MUSINGS MIXED WITH HUMOR. THIS POST CONTAINS NO HUMOR. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Pretty much any time I go to Smith's the person I am with points out the fact that I seem to know everyone in the store. While this is not true, I certainly know a lot of people. I like to make friends and keep friends. I also like to have acquaintances. Because of this predisposition I have a wide and varied network of people who I know and greet at many of the places I frequent, one of which happens to be Smith's. Given this cornucopia of persons, it stands to reason that I have a number of female friends. And now we get to the meat of my thoughts...
I have surrounded myself with the most wonderful women it is possible to know. And many of these girls are such brilliant beacons of humanity that I am confident in putting forward that they are some of the best people I will ever meet. Many of these girls have been, currently are, and will continue to be my examples of a Christlike and beautiful person. I have been blessed simply to know them.
As a final thought, let me thank those of you who have uplifted me and helped me to see myself more clearly. If I am any sort of a good person, I have no doubt you are partly responsible. There is almost no chance of you reading this, but thank you.
And for anyone else reading this, there is a lesson here as well. Because of these girls and women in my life, I am trying to be the kind of person that uplifts the people around me. Let us follow their example and be beacons of uplifting joy.
Pretty much any time I go to Smith's the person I am with points out the fact that I seem to know everyone in the store. While this is not true, I certainly know a lot of people. I like to make friends and keep friends. I also like to have acquaintances. Because of this predisposition I have a wide and varied network of people who I know and greet at many of the places I frequent, one of which happens to be Smith's. Given this cornucopia of persons, it stands to reason that I have a number of female friends. And now we get to the meat of my thoughts...
I have surrounded myself with the most wonderful women it is possible to know. And many of these girls are such brilliant beacons of humanity that I am confident in putting forward that they are some of the best people I will ever meet. Many of these girls have been, currently are, and will continue to be my examples of a Christlike and beautiful person. I have been blessed simply to know them.
As a final thought, let me thank those of you who have uplifted me and helped me to see myself more clearly. If I am any sort of a good person, I have no doubt you are partly responsible. There is almost no chance of you reading this, but thank you.
And for anyone else reading this, there is a lesson here as well. Because of these girls and women in my life, I am trying to be the kind of person that uplifts the people around me. Let us follow their example and be beacons of uplifting joy.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunshine of your Love
This is a declaration. But it is a declaration that needs to be preceded by some thought.
I feel confident in saying that the world could benefit from everyone in it being more loving. If more people made their decisions based on love, rather than greed, ambition, anger, etc., I think the world at large would be greatly improved. So, in the interest of filling the world with a bit more of "the good stuff" (no, I don't mean Jim Beam) let us have a short discussion about the nature of love.
Love is perhaps the most universally admired attribute. It is a defining feature of many, if not all, of our literary heroes, and it is the keystone of all the major religions I could think of just now. Being so important, it must have some sort of definition. Webster defines love as many things, including strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, the score of zero (tennis), and unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. For my purposes, I am going to focus on definitions 2 and 3. Mostly 3.
Gordon B. Hinkley defined the love in a marriage relationship, as in Webster's third definition, as an anxious concern for the happiness and well being of another. Specifically, he said, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." I feel that this definition of love could be broadened and applied to the vastness of the human race. If we all thought more about how we could help our neighborino, rather than how we could make our yard look better than his.... As I think about this, I can't come up with an example of applying this principle to international relations, but I think it is more of the attitude and way of thinking that matters. People who have an external focus tend to make decisions that are the most beneficial to all involved parties. Love, I guess, is a kindness and unselfishness of action.
So, now that we have a rudimentary understanding of how I personally view love (incidentally, my ego believes that everyone should think this way) I can continue on to my declaration.
I am going to be more loving.
Yes, I am going to be more loving. I am going to think more about other people than myself. Or that's the plan anyway. But I am not going to simply say, "I love you" more often. I am actually going to be more loving. I am going to act. I am going to make time to listen, really listen, when people talk to me. I am going to continue to do all the little things I do around my house to keep in nice looking, because I love my roommates. I am going to act on all those thoughts I have. You know the ones. Like when you think, "I should get a flower for Sarah" or "I should write a letter to Grandma."
Hopefully, putting this in writing will put it in my head. And hopefully, I'll be able to have an effect on the world around me. And hopefully, I'll leave the world a little brighter.
I feel confident in saying that the world could benefit from everyone in it being more loving. If more people made their decisions based on love, rather than greed, ambition, anger, etc., I think the world at large would be greatly improved. So, in the interest of filling the world with a bit more of "the good stuff" (no, I don't mean Jim Beam) let us have a short discussion about the nature of love.
Love is perhaps the most universally admired attribute. It is a defining feature of many, if not all, of our literary heroes, and it is the keystone of all the major religions I could think of just now. Being so important, it must have some sort of definition. Webster defines love as many things, including strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, the score of zero (tennis), and unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. For my purposes, I am going to focus on definitions 2 and 3. Mostly 3.
Gordon B. Hinkley defined the love in a marriage relationship, as in Webster's third definition, as an anxious concern for the happiness and well being of another. Specifically, he said, "True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion." I feel that this definition of love could be broadened and applied to the vastness of the human race. If we all thought more about how we could help our neighborino, rather than how we could make our yard look better than his.... As I think about this, I can't come up with an example of applying this principle to international relations, but I think it is more of the attitude and way of thinking that matters. People who have an external focus tend to make decisions that are the most beneficial to all involved parties. Love, I guess, is a kindness and unselfishness of action.
So, now that we have a rudimentary understanding of how I personally view love (incidentally, my ego believes that everyone should think this way) I can continue on to my declaration.
I am going to be more loving.
Yes, I am going to be more loving. I am going to think more about other people than myself. Or that's the plan anyway. But I am not going to simply say, "I love you" more often. I am actually going to be more loving. I am going to act. I am going to make time to listen, really listen, when people talk to me. I am going to continue to do all the little things I do around my house to keep in nice looking, because I love my roommates. I am going to act on all those thoughts I have. You know the ones. Like when you think, "I should get a flower for Sarah" or "I should write a letter to Grandma."
Hopefully, putting this in writing will put it in my head. And hopefully, I'll be able to have an effect on the world around me. And hopefully, I'll leave the world a little brighter.
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