Wasting Time

The interesting thing about the internet is that it has given everyone a unique new way to waste time. I don't mean that the internet is new. What I mean is, in the ever-expanding interweb, there is something to be found that will interest you. Something that will catch your attention for hours at a time without you even realizing it. Perhaps you are a person who loves Facebook. I know I have spent more time browsing that damn book that I ever should have. Or if that doesn't catch your fancy, maybe you are a blog reader. Some of us are forum-hounds. Some of us are gamers. Some of us spend hours browsing the internet and reading scholarly research. The point is, every person you or I know can find a way to waste time on the interwebs, and probably already has.

Why?

Let me relate a conversation I once had:

Friend (probably girl): "Why do you waste so much time playing video games?"

Me (probably boy): "I don't really. Well, maybe I do. I don't know. They are fun? Do you not waste time?"

Girl: "Not really. I never play games."

Me: "You don't waste time on facebook?"

Girl: "Well, some...."

(This conversation may or may not have happened. I might be making it up.)

The point of this conversation has nothing to do with games. I couldn't care less how you waste your time. The point is that we do waste our time. Before I had video games, I had books. Before televisions, we had the newspaper. Before the newspaper, we had the rocking chair. We humans always find ways to waste our time. And it would seem that all of our effort goes towards finding ways to free up more time for wasting. Industrialization? Freed up lots of time, which Americans promptly began to waste. We have an enormous entertainment industry whose soul purpose is to make our wasted time more enjoyable. It is an entire industry based around our desire to do nothing. What is it about humankind that makes us want to waste our time? I honestly have no idea. But I would love to hear what your thoughts are.

The Ugly Face Of Fear

I have come to a conclusion. It is based on years of evidence. I am convinced that this is the only explanation for the phenomenon. What phenomenon? Let me explain.

If I sit in an empty room, surrounded by empty chairs, the seats next to me will be the last seats occupied. This is always true. For example, in my Econ class on Tuesday, I saw Karen from my ward. She looked at me, and I said hello an waved. She then sat three rows behind me. As the room filled up, the seats next to me remained empty. Another example: every Sunday at church, no matter where I sit, the seats next to me will remain unoccupied until the very last possible moment when there are no other seats anywhere. I have even seen people sit on the floor, rather than sit by me. And I have come up with an explanation for this.

I must be terrifying.

My appearance has to be the most intimidating, fear inspiring appearance on earth. People are actually afraid to sit next to me. And I understand this. I am pretty darn manly. So manly in fact, I could scare a bear to death with one grimace. Apparently.

An alternative explanation is that I am truly hideous. I mean the kind of hideous they make movies about. The kind of hideous that plastic surgeons are willing to fix for free, if only I'll stop looking at them. I find this explanation implausible, considering how likely it is that my frightening manliness translates directly into attractiveness. That actually gives another option. I am so good looking, people are intimidated by me. They can't sit by someone that good looking, lest they appear ugly by comparison. That must be it.

Well, world, you are pretty just as you are. I am not going to bite you. Now come talk to me in class.

Frosted, Corn, and Wheaties

Let us mull over the thoughts in my head.

I have been thinking lately about people's intentions. To be specific, I am thinking about how a person's actions speak volumes about them. All too often these actions do not agree with the words of the individual. People often say they care about someone while at the same time falling through on commitments with said person. I am not talking about backing out of a marriage proposal. I am speaking of verbal agreements, more commonly called invitations, that are extended and accepted by people every day. But, it has been my experience that people are more than willing to accept an invitation without ever actually following through. Or, similarly, they will say something along the lines of, "Let's get lunch sometime!" and then promptly forget the whole idea.

Now, I am not whining here. I already whined at my sister about the whole thing. What I want to do here is muse about the potential for understanding the people described above (we will call them Flakes) and their motivations below the conscious level.

I have a theory in life that you can tell what a person actually cares about by looking at what they make time for. People who love to knit will knit, no matter how busy they get. People who love to cook will cook. Similarly, if a Sandy cares about Ted, she will say, "Let's get lunch!" and then she will make time for lunch with him. When Richmond says to Taylor, "I'll call you after work and we can go thrift shopping," and then never calls, we can assume that he didn't actually care.

And, as with most of life, there is a continuum. The more frequently someone falls through on plans, the higher the probability that they are a Flake. And the less likely they care about you. Although, I take issue with myself here. I know a lot of Flakes. And were you to ask most of them, they would tell you that they care. They care about me, and they care about everyone else, and they feel bad about all the events that have helped them achieve the title "Flake". And these people confuse me. These people fall in a grey spot in my continuum. Sometimes they make time for me, sometimes not. How should these people be classified? Are they Flakes? Do they care? I don't know what to do with them.

To end these musings, I have a question: Is this a cause-effect relationship? A people Flakes because they don't care? And can you, by forcing yourself to follow through, cause yourself to care? It is thoughts like these that keep me up at night. Let me know what you think.

Ancient Wisdom

I wanted to share with you a bit of what I am reading, because I quite like it.

Gifts to and fro help a friendship endure.

To a friend be a friend and give gift for gift;
Jest should be taken with jest, wile with wile.

To a friend be a friend, both to him and his friend;
But to enemy's friend, be not bound by friendship.

If you know a friend, believe in him and desire his goodwill,
Go share his tastes, and gifts exchange; go often seek him out.

When I was young I traveled alone and wandered away from the road;
I thought myself rich when I met with a man, for a man is good company.

Noble, courageous men live best; they seldom harbor sorrow.
A foolish man fears many things and begrudges every gift.

The Sounds of Happiness

These are songs I have put together to brighten your day. It is by no means a comprehensive list of all happy songs ever, but it is a good collection nonetheless. I dare you to listen to the whole playlist and be cranky at the end (contrary people need not take this challenge).

So, that being said, enjoy chair dancing (or regular dancing) to this list of happy.

Open-Faced Sandwhich

We live in a society that seems to be full of people who are unwilling to be vulnerable, who are too easily offended and who are horrified that they might give reason for others to feel offended. While none of these qualities are evil of themselves, they have become so prevalent in the world in which I live, that they are almost crippling. Nobody can say or do anything because somebody else might get offended and make a big stink about it. This attitude is so common that people are applying it to situations where it doesn't need to be applied. And I have decided to fight this trend.

I was talking with my friend Camille the other day. She is quite an amazing individual. She also believes in being honest and speaking what she feels. There is no reason to be subtle about something, dropping hints at what you want and hoping someone else catches your hints and is willing to act on them. (although, acting is dangerous. It might offend...) This problem seems especially plague Provo's dating world. Nobody is ever willing to actually tell another person they are interested. And so nobody ever gets anyone they want. And they all complain about it, myself included. But no longer!! I am going to begin to tell people what I want. Whether I want to date a girl, go to Taco Bell, or dance swing even though I'm awful, I am going to just come out and say it.

This same idea applies to making friends. If I want to be friends with a person, I am going to invite him/her to activities with me. I will proactively obtain said person's phone number and I will use it without chagrin.

By the same token, I sincerely hope that nobody is offended by this. I really do like people, and I want you all to be happy. However, in the interest of improving the world around me, I am going to buck this unfortunate social trend. Wish me luck!!

Coffee, Rain, and You

This is a chai latte. Although not all chai lattes are blessed with antennae like this one, they are almost all delicious. Why am I making you look at this tasty dactyl? Because it is a starting point for my thought.

The other day I was having a conversation with somebody (Russell maybe?) and were discussing coffee shops and the people who frequent them. I mentioned that I happen to enjoy sitting around a coffee shop, sipping a chai and nibbling a muffin while I read a book or chat with friends. And it occurred to me that most people from Portland enjoy this pastime. In fact, most people from the Pacific Northwest enjoy this pastime. What is it about living on the rainy west coast that makes you a hipster? And are all coffee shop junkies hipsters? I would like to think that I am not a hipster, just a regular fellow.

So, what do you think? Did living in Portland make me this way? Or did I live in Portland due to a predisposition to sit in coffee shops?